#I’ve recently become closer friends with men and it’s made me so scared to say things about Men like I normally would to my non-men friends

[earthylight]

when people say “not all men,” it’s completely missing the point and feels like a slap in the face

[metize]

Behave.

Rating: Explicit Warnings: Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Yagami Light/Reader Additional Tags: Reader-Insert, Praise Kink, Yagami Light is Kira, L is reader's brother, but no one's supposed to know, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Blackmail, Coercion, Sexual Coercion, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, 'good girl's, AFAB reader - Freeform, Misogyny, Workplace Sex, Desk Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal Sex, this is filthy, I'm so sorry, Manipulation, Top Yagami Light, Jealousy

A/N: Filth! Absolute dirt! I'm the Trash Man! I come out, I throw trash all over AO3, and then I start eating garbage! Enjoy.

"You seem to get along very well with L."

You could practically feel your heart stop when Light said that. You felt so stupid, of course, this guy would figure it out. You tried your best to look unfazed while you panicked on the inside. The black-haired detective and you were trying to keep it a secret from the task force that you were siblings. You cursed Ryuzaki internally, he had been acting kind of protective towards you and it was bound to raise suspicion.

“You think so? I’ve just been trying to be on good terms with everyone.” You deflected.

The investigation room was empty save for the two of you, there was a single monitor showing the news broadcast reporting on the most recent Kira murder. You focused back on the files you were sorting through. Your older brother never cared much for organizing and that drove you mad. You glanced in Light’s direction again, he was staring at you, his gaze sent shivers down your spine, you just forced an awkward smile.

"Did you let him fuck you yet?" He deadpanned.

"W-What the fuck? Of course not!" You answered abruptly. You were offended that Light would even ask something like that. The crude way he said it too, made you blush in embarrassment. You found it weird he'd say something like that, usually Light was nothing short of a gentleman when addressing you.

"Don't get coy all of a sudden. Just admit you two are fucking already." He sounded annoyed now. He got up and got closer to your desk, his eyes never leaving yours. You sometimes felt intimidated in his presence, now in the middle of the night, alone with him towering over you, this feeling increased tenfold.

"T-that's disgusting! Why are you even saying that? We're just… we're just friends, coworkers who get along, whatever!" You started to crack under the pressure.

Light brows furrowed for a second and then his eyes widened in revelation. A grin formed on his face and he burst into laughter like he had finally gotten the punchline to a joke. His laughter was scary, loud and almost maniacal.  You didn't know how to react exactly so you looked at him nervously and confused.

Did he believe you? Did he find the misunderstanding funny? Was that it? You hoped that was it. You offered a weak smile as his laughter died down.

"I was so caught up in this… obsession… this feeling of jealousy… ah. It was obvious all along. You're siblings. Siblings!" He shook his head smiling "This is pathetic. You're becoming such a nuisance with your distraction."

He figured it out, of course it had only been a matter of time. But that realization took way too long for his liking. He was blinded by the rage of the idea of L having you and he didn't stop to consider any other possibilities.

"Excuse me? I didn't-" You got up and started to retort his rude comment.

"Shut the fuck up." And you did so out of shock. Light wasn't like this normally, he was relatively courteous and nice. Why was he so… brutish all of a sudden? He smiled at your obedience. "Good girl."

The praise felt so dirty, you frowned at him. Being infantilized was something you were used to dealing with in the workplace, being surrounded by older men. But Light was pretty much your age, what was he thinking?

You didn't have time to wonder because the man grabbed your collar and pulled you into a kiss.

You tried to push him away instinctively and ask what the fuck he was doing, but Light grabbed your wrists. He held them so tightly it almost marked your skin. Your lips were still closed so he bit them to make you part them. He kissed you aggressively as if he was punishing you for something. his tongue entered your mouth deepening the kiss and claiming your mouth for himself.

He tasted like coffee and sin.

"God, and I thought fucking L's girlfriend was a good idea, this is way better." He sounded extremely amused. "I wonder how is he going to react when he finds out I fucked his pretty little sister?"

Ryuzaki had always had a bad feeling about Light, he mentioned you should be careful around him, you knew all that and here you were. You thought he was being overprotective, to be fair Light wasn't the first guy L had a bad feeling about.

Light's hand was now caressing your hair, smiling content with your current predicament and very proud of himself.

"We… w-we can't." You tried to come up with an excuse. "We work together, so it would be-"

"I am Kira."

You heart stopped when you heard those words. Everything started connections in your head, every lead, every tip, every death. You still had many questions, some things didn't make sense, but as you stood there looking at that man's face it was clear that he wasn't joking.

"W-why are you… telling me this?" You tried to back away slowly. You could hear your heartbeat drumming in your ears.

"Because I feel like keeping you to myself." He smiled sinisterly, every step back you took he stepped forward to approach you again "I was contemplating killing you after pounding your cunt, but I told myself I deserved a little treat."

Hearing him talking about murdering you in cold blood activated your flight instinct immediately. You turned away and rushed towards the door, but as soon as you tried to twist the doorknob and open the door, it was locked. You twisted the knob again and again, desperately trying to unlock it with sheer willpower.

“Stop that, you’re smarter than this.” You heard his voice right against your ear, his hands now grabbing your waist and caressing you through the fabric of your blouse. “There’s only one way you leave this room” he placed a kiss on your neck and you shivered despite yourself “with my cum leaking down your thighs” he grabbed your throat suddenly “and invisibly leashed to me, like a good little pet.”

You were shaking, incredibly aware of Light's bulge pressing against your ass, one hand toying with the hem of your shirt and the other still holding your neck possessively.

"Are we clear, pet?"

You felt his grip tighten a bit so you just quickly nodded your head. It showed to be the wrong answer, because you were punished with a sharp swat to your ass.

"Use your damn words, there's a reason I chose not to gag you." He grabbed your face, forcing you to make eye contact with him. "Say 'Yes, master'."

He was a sick fuck. You wanted to scream at him and call him exactly that. You wanted to push him away and go home already. But god damn it, you wanted to survive this.

"Yes… m-master."

He smiled at your obedience and his grin made you sick to your stomach. He placed a kiss on your temple and pat your hair gently.

"There you go, good girl. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He turned you around quickly and pushed your back against the door. His mouth was on yours again, his hands slipped under your shirt and you shivered feeling his cold touch on your skin. The fabric was restraining his hands so he grew frustrated and started to undress you at once.

"Y-you don't… have to do this, Light. I promise I won't tell anyone, just let me go and-"

"Don't waste your breath. You'll need it when I get to choke you properly…" he answered simply, amused by your perseverance, all the while looking forward to breaking it. "I want to fuck you, so I'm going to do it. I have the whole world in my hands and it's not a little pet that's going to deny me what I want. Understood?"

He tossed your shirt on the floor and started pulling your pencil skirt up. He glared at you for not answering and you promptly spoke up.

"Understood."

He smirked. You felt his fingers trace your slit over your panties, you shuddered and instinctively tried to move away.

"Don't fucking move." His other hand grabbed your waist holding you in place. His tone was harsh and you were so fucking scared.

"Sorry"

"I'm sure you are… Good girl, at least you have manners." He chuckled at that. "Not that your decency matters, look how wet you are for your master…"

He stroked the wet fabric to emphasize his point and you tried to hold back a moan, but it was useless. It felt good, of course it felt good. Light was a hot guy, he obviously knew his way around someone's body and you were only human. His lips captured yours again and he kept playing with your clothed sex as you made out. You could swear you were going insane, the pleasure of his hands on you was intoxicating and his mouth on yours had you gasping for air.

"Get on your knees. Now."

You needed to survive this, you needed to be useful to him. The way he ordered you around did excite you but you needed to stay focused. You were not supposed to feel good, you were supposed to find a way out of this situation.

For now that meant kneeling before Light as he pulled out his cock for you.

You gulped as you eyed him, of course Light Yagami had a big dick, you had to have suspected it. But now you had to give him head and you knew very well he wasn't going to go easy on you. He saw your hesitation and scoffed in amusement.

"Go ahead pet, you want to prove to me you're worth keeping around don't you?" He smiled devilishly at you.

"Yes, master." You murmured and licked your lips. You could do this. And, in a weird way, you kind of wanted to do this, you wanted him to praise you more, to call you a good girl again… you repressed the thought. This is disgusting, Light is disgusting and a murderer. You were strong you won’t fall for his games.

You grabbed his cock by its base and started to gently suck the tip. You looked up at him before taking the whole shaft into your mouth. You sucked him off to the best of your, limited, abilities, trying to get him deeper with each bob of your head. Maybe if he came in your mouth he wouldn’t touch you further, maybe he’d let you go.

Your hopeful thoughts are interrupted by the man’s hand grabbing your hair forcefully, you looked at him and he was grinning like the maniac he was.

“Sit still, let me use your throat a little bit.” His voice was unshaken. You felt a bit annoyed he didn’t seem phased by your efforts. You didn’t have time to dwindle on that feeling because Light was grabbing your face and fucking your mouth as soon as he finished his phrase.

His pace was unrelenting and you felt your spit dribbling down your chin, you tried to breathe in small intervals and you could see him laugh at your predicament. You felt rage but he slowed down his thrusts and started petting your head. Like a kid. Like a pet.

“That’s a good girl, such an obedient little pet…” he breathed and pulled out “Bend over your desk for me.”

Fuck. You were out of breath, you could only nod and do as he said. You didn’t even think of disobeying his order, he praised you again, you were doing a good job… You got up and rested your torso on the desk. He was going to fuck you. Light was Kira and he was blackmailing you into submission. This was an absolute nightmare. So why the fuck were you so turned on?

“You know where you belong, don’t you, pet?” You felt his presence behind you and he pulled down your panties. “Not above anyone, not next to your brother… Not even by my side.” He pulled your hair and you yelped despite yourself “You belong under me.”

He entered you forcefully and you couldn’t help but moan loudly at the intrusion, he didn’t prepare you with his fingers, he didn’t touch you properly at all, it hurt and he knew. But he didn’t give a fuck.

“You should be grateful to your master, whore.” His hand reached around your neck his grip making you gasp. “Tell me you can be obedient.”

“I can!” You cried and you felt his other hand reach between your legs to press your sensitive bud.

“You think you can be useful? Do you think you deserve to live to serve your master?” His thrusts were getting harsher and he groaned “Do you?!”

“Yes, master, please, master!” You begged. To cum, to live, anything. Light held your life in his hands and you were so scared, but so turned on.

“You better....” He grunted and kept on rubbing your clit “I fucking own you. I’m going to cum inside you, going to make you my breeding bitch.”

Oh no. That wasn’t good. That was a bad idea.

“N-no… please not inside” You heard him laugh at your resistance.

“Then tell me… tell me his name.” His name? Fuck. Ryuzaki.

You couldn’t tell him his name. Was he going to kill you if you didn’t? You couldn’t do it. You sobbed and grasped his arm in fear.

“No, I can’t, I can’t!” You cried out shaking your head. The pleasure was overwhelming and you came on his fingers screaming. “I can’t! Ah!”

You saw stars, Light never stopped pounding you as he laughed maniacally at your desperation.

“Know your fucking place… useless cunt.... Fuck-” His laughter died down and he pulled you closer as he came inside you.

You felt his spent dripping down your pussy, you trembled both from the orgasm and from fear of what came next. Light pulled out and turned you around, smiling amused at your scared face.

“Don’t worry, pet, of course I wasn’t counting on a dumb slut like you telling me this information…” He pat your head and you stood there with tears rolling down your face “You’re beneath me, I don’t need you, I don’t need your help. I’ll find out eventually.” He chuckled and wiped away your tears “But I do know your name. So you better behave.” He kissed your forehead. “Won’t you, pet?”

[oitommothetease]

Long Story Short (3/3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (Modern AU)

Description : 

Long story short, it was the wrong guy Now I'm all about you I'm all about you

Word Count : 2.2k words

Warning : fluff, ex Steve, Bucky Barnes my beloved, Just Bucky being an amazing partner

Bucky Barnes does not do relationships. Well, to put it in better words; Bucky Barnes did not do relationships until he met you. As a marriage counselor, he had advised many couples to just get a divorce, and even though he had saved a lot of marriages, the bad ones always hurt him more. To be the person to witness unhappy couples was not the best profession. But again, to be the person to save a marriage or bring back the lost love made his profession the best in his mind.

He did not have hope for a future relationship. He tried dating, it did not work out, and then he became the man who always left after the night and never stayed over. Not only that, but he thought his life would remain the same, and he would become a miserable 60 years old that hated lovesick teenagers and would die in his bed alone.

Bucky’s life changed when he met you on the flight. You, with your obvious shittier life, changed everything for him that weekend. And that was two years ago.

He fell in love and that changed it all, things just started falling into place perfectly like a domino effect going smoothly. He called you the moment you landed and asked you out. Likewise, he was scared that what happened back in his hometown was some sort of escape for you. Luckily, it wasn’t, you said yes and he was ecstatic. 

The date went splendidly, you talked about everything from your careers to your embarrassing high school moments that still sometimes haunt you at night. He told you about his family and he came clean about what went down with Dot (She wanted a relationship, he didn’t and then he bolted). It scared you, Bucky was so different, you’ve never been with someone who didn’t plan everything out, but it was exciting nonetheless. He assured you that he wanted a relationship with you because and let's be honest, he was already very smitten.

He thought that was the best weekend of his life. You proved him wrong, every day with you was the best day of his life.

“This is technically our third date,” you suggested.

He gasped, dramatically placing his hand on his chest. “This is our first date to me and you’re already trying to get in my pants. Give me some respect, lady.”

You laughed, shoving a hand on his arm playfully, and he held your wrist, bringing your body closer to his. He wrapped his other hand around your waist and leaned down to leave a longing kiss on your lips. “ As much as I would love to stay the night. I wanna do right by you, doll.”

You smiled and leaned in for another kiss, foreheads pressed together, before you jokingly said, “FYI, I have already been in your pants before.”

That was the moment Bucky knew you were the one for him. 

***

Alpine fell in love with Bucky quicker than you could. On the fourth date when Bucky finally let you take him home, Alpine came from her hideout in the kitchen and sat on his feet. Alpine never did that with anyone, your friends had told you that you had the most hostile cat ever. Whenever a new person entered your apartment, Alpine either ignored them or attacked them, but with Bucky, she was affectionate.

For you, it wasn’t one moment that made you realize you were in love. Unlike Bucky, you had a lot of issues to deal with before you could give yourself completely to him.

Bucky never judged you, he gave you the time you needed and never pushed you when he was ready to acknowledge he loved you. 

Of course, the insecurities were also present, you’d have urges to go throw his phone or stalk everyone he follows on Instagram. You told Bucky, hoping he doesn’t call you crazy, but instead he gave you his phone’s password. Yes, now your face could unlock his phone too. He told you he trusted you, and you were it for him so if that’s what you needed to be sure, he would happily oblige and wait for you.

It took you six months to finally acknowledge your love for him.

When you were working on a divorce case, the wife told you that when her husband walked into a room, she didn’t feel anything. You got lost in her story and told her how when your boyfriend, your Bucky was nearby you felt calm, lighter even. She smiled and told you she would like to have a love like that. And your mind just went, ‘Holy shit, I am in love with Bucky’. After wrapping up for the day, you immediately rushed towards Bucky’s office, you couldn’t wait to tell him about your recent discovery.

You sat across from him at his office, anxiously fiddling with your finger. “Bucky, I need to tell you something important.”

He looked up from the file on his table and closed it before giving you all of his attention. He always did that which made butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Go ahead, doll. I’m all ears.”

 “I... I need to tell you something important.”

He nodded his head, encouraging you to go ahead.

You exhaled and said, “I don’t know how to tell you this.”

Bucky studied your features, concern quickly replaced intrigue. This is it, he thought. You’ve realized that he was a rebound and now you were breaking up with him.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

 “I love you.”

You both said at the same time.

“What?” you queried, standing up from your seat and moving towards his chair.

You settled on his lap, cradling him, one of his hands rested on your thigh and the other on your lower back, holding you still on his legs. “What?” 

“I love you,” you confessed, taking his cheeks in your palms and you gently pressed a kiss on his lips.

“Say that again,” a grin spread across his face, the corner of his lips almost reached his ears.

“I love you,” you said, beaming with adoration in your eyes.

“God, doll. I love you so much.”

***

After dating for a year, you decided to move in together. Every day with you had been the happiest day of Bucky’s life. It had been exactly two years since you met Bucky and he was so head over heels for you that sometimes he couldn’t even voice it. Maybe that is why he had a velvet box in his pocket, so that he could express his love for you without gathering the courage to say it.

Both of you decided that for your second anniversary, you were going to have dinner in your shared apartment that you made home. You planned to order take out with movies followed by lovemaking, whereas Bucky planned to make you his fiancé by the end of the night - which was also followed by intense lovemaking.

While on his way home, he stopped to pick up your favorite flavor of the cake. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he quickly picked it up without checking who it was.

“Hey, pal,” Steve’s voice greeted him, taking him by surprise. Bucky hadn’t talked to his best mate since - well, since he found out what he did to you. Bucky was furious that he hurt you like that and made you doubt yourself. The selfish part of Bucky was thankful, not for hurting you, but for leaving you because Bucky couldn’t imagine a life without you. And hopefully, after the proposal, he wouldn’t have to.

“Steve,” Bucky said. A silence lingered where both of them could hear the other breathing, but none of them knew what to say, if anything was even left to say. Both of them broke the silence together at the same time.

“Peggy and I are getting a divorce.”

 “I’m going to propose to Y/N.”

 “You what?” Steve asked.

“No, you what?” Bucky countered.

Steve exhaled through the device connecting two old pals and spoke, “Yeah, we tried, but it just didn’t work out. I don’t even know why I went back after the first time. I lost so much by just doing that.”

Both of them were aware of what he was talking about; you. Steve lost you from falling into old patterns with his ex-wife. Steve regretted it. Peggy’s pregnancy wasn’t planned and when she told him, he tied down the knot for the sake of his future family. It took Steve two months to realize that he loved you and not his wife. He didn’t contact you, you asked him not to. The only reason he invited you to his wife’s baby shower was so that he could win you back. He hoped seeing him would make you want him again, but when you walked in with his best friend’s hand in yours, he didn’t know how to react. He had lost you to Bucky of all people and he hated his mate for this, for taking away the best thing in his life. 

“Are you sure about her?” Steve questioned, hoping to raise some doubts and second thoughts in his best pal’s mind. He knew that was wrong, but he desperately wanted you back. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Bucky answered dreamily and Steve could feel his heart crack.

Steve should have stopped, he shouldn’t have relented but Steve wasn’t a good man like you thought he was. Good men don’t cheat on women, good men aren’t selfish. “It's gonna change everything between us, pal. Is she worth it?”

 “Yes.”

Bucky didn’t hesitate in his answer and hung up the phone instantly. He realized quickly that anything that separated him from you or even tried to was not going to be in his life. Bucky was a possessive man and he would die rather than give up his two best girls, you and Alpine.

***

When Bucky came back, you didn’t expect him to kiss you so feverishly, as if he let you go, he’d lose you. He would never lose you, that you were sure of.

Your anniversary went down as you planned. Eating pizza and talking while the movie became a background noise was peaceful, domestic and everything else you desired. You could spend the rest of your life like this. Just you and him — and Alpine, obviously. 

Bucky was hiding something that much you could feel. You both always knew when something was up with the other. A tiny part of your brain panicked that maybe Bucky was cheating on you. He wasn’t; there were no signs, but your brain always mustered up the worst condition as a defense mechanism.

So, when Bucky got down on one knee with a ring in his hand as you were bringing the cake from the kitchen, tears welled up in your eyes. Bucky gently took the cake from you and placed it on your dining table before getting a hold of your hands in his.

“Doll,” he started, and tears were already starting to stream down your face. “ I love you so much that it physically hurts me sometimes. I never thought I would be fortunate enough to be happy, but God, you make me so happy and I can’t even…”

A lump formed in his throat and he tried again, “I had this whole speech planned and now I can’t even get a sentence out without crying. They make it look so easy in those rom coms.”

You chucked, stifling a sob that was threatening to break out. ” Nothing about us has been conventional. I mean, from the way we met to the way I’m proposing, but that is what I like about us. You are already my home, my family, my everything and I would like you to be my wife too. So, Y/N Y/L/N, would you make me the happiest man alive by marrying me? ” 

“Yes! God, yes, Bucky.” you beamed, holding his palm tightly, supporting him to stand up. He situated the ring on your finger before claiming your lips in his. He kissed you with so much passion and adoration that you felt that even if the earth swallowed you whole at that moment, you still wouldn’t mind. You’ll be glad because you got the opportunity to know and love a man like Bucky. 

After the very anticipated and passionate lovemaking, you settled your head on Bucky’s chest, limbs tangled together, and his arms wrapped around you, igniting you with warmth and love, so much love.

“Alpine is gonna get mad that I took her man,” you remembered, repeating the words you said all those years ago in a hotel room. You did not know where it was going then but God, you wanted it to go somewhere. Somewhere like this, engaged to him.

Bucky chuckled, reminiscing that night and weekend before pulling you closer, placing a kiss on top of your head and promised, “Alpine is not the love of my life, my future wife, my everything, doll. You are.”

TAGS : @ladydmalfoy​ @niffala​  @vicmc624​ @leyannrae​ @priii​

[hangovercurse]

Blind Date

After being single for three months, your friends decide to set you and Colson up on a blind date.

Request: Hey!! Could you do one about the reader and Colson meeting by a blind date? Let your creativity go wild ❤️

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: This is a little bit different from how I normally write, so let’s see how this goes.

Word Count: 1916

It’s funny how the universe makes things happen. While some people are having their first kiss, others are taking their last breath. Every moment in time is so intricately woven together, it sometimes seems ironic how things happen.

Like tonight, on two sides of California, two very different people were having the same conversation.

“I’m not sure about this.”

“What if she thinks my tattoos are too much?”

“What if he thinks I’m too weird?”

“What if she hates music?”

“What if he hates art?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Your best friend stared at you from your bed as you paced around the room. “Y/N, you’re going to be fine. You said it yourself, you need to get back out there. Baze says he’s a good guy, and I trust Baze.”

Baze was in a similar situation, laying on the couch as Colson paced around the house. “Colson, dude. It’s gonna be good, she’s gonna like you.”

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous. It’s not like I’ve never been on a first fuckin date before. I used to do this shit every night.” He sighed, sitting down.

You let out a frustrated groan, “I know. I just feel like after everything in the past few years I feel like I’ve forgotten how to do first dates.”

“You’re gonna be great, just be yourself. And remember, it’s a blind date, so if you guys don’t hit it off or something goes horribly wrong, you never have to see him again.” She smiled as you threw her a playful glare.

“Colson, I love you man, but you have to do this. I don’t think you’ve even looked at a woman who isn’t Ashleigh in like three months.”

The light-haired man sent his friend a glare, “I’m sorry that I was recovering from the worst heartbreak of my life.”

You finally sat down, pulling on your shoes. “Maybe it’s too soon. Maybe I’m not as ready as I thought I was.”

Your friend sighed, sitting up and placing her arms around your shoulders, “It’s been three months since you and T broke up. You grieved, and now you need to move on. You deserve this.”

“Dude, you said you were over her. You are over her. Now you get to find someone else and try to be happy. You deserve this.”

“Maybe don’t bring up your disastrous ex, Y/N.”

“But please, for the love of god, bro, don’t bring up Megan.”

 You entered the small, classy restaurant, your hands shaking slightly. The entire place was dimly lit, with candles scattered around any surface available. You walked to the hostess stand, “Baker for two.” You told her, a small smile gracing your features.

She nodded, leading you through the floor. “He got here not 30 seconds before you did.” She laughed and you blushed a little bit.

You were grateful he wasn’t late, but you were also grateful he wasn’t extremely early , or else you would have felt awful for making him wait.

You were finally brought to a small table in the back of the restaurant to find one of the prettiest men you have ever laid your eyes on. When his eyes met yours, he stood up immediately, a smile on his face. “Y/N?” He asked.

“Colson.” You responded. He pulled your chair out for you, and you felt heat rushing to your cheeks at the kind gesture. None of the guys you had ever dated pulled your chair out for you, especially not your most recent ex.

“Baze told me you were pretty but this is…” He trailed off, seeming a bit lost for words. “You are absolutely gorgeous.”

He was good at this, good at making you nervous, making you blush like a teenager. “Thank you.” You whispered, “I think you are one of the prettiest people I have ever met.” You returned his compliment with one of your own.

The redness in his cheeks made you smile, a bit of pride rising in your chest. “Baze truthfully didn’t tell me much about you.” He started, “so, what do you do?” He was kicking himself for the lame question, but his mind was half occupied with the color of your eyes and he couldn’t form a coherent thought.

“I’m an artist.” You probably didn’t realize it, but Colson could see the slightest bit of a light in your eyes as you spoke about your passion. “I do graphic designing for websites, making logos and designs and such. That’s my day job, at least. I do some painting and sketching on the side, though. Eventually I’d like to be able to make that my whole job, but it is a hard industry.”

Colson nodded in understanding, his eyes holding the same weight as yours when you spoke of your flailing dreams. You wondered how he knew exactly what you were talking about.

Seemingly reading your mind, he answered. “I get that so much. I’m a musician, so I’ve been there. Luckily, I did make it my full-time job, but I remember before I made it, all the stress and struggles. It gets better.”

You smiled, “easy for you to say, aren’t you like, a big Rockstar?”

He chuckled, looking down, “yeah, sort of. But I wasn’t, you know? Like before all this I was dirt poor and the picture of a starving artist. I mean I’m still not like, winning Grammys or shit now, but I’m not there anymore either.”

You nodded, studying him. “I was lucky, I had support through art school and got a job as soon as I graduated. I’ve never had to struggle in that sense. I don’t think I’d be happy staying where I’m at for the rest of my life, but I am definitely in a stable place right now.”

He seemed so interested in what you were saying. Soon the conversation moved into the type of music he made, and then to your art styles. You flowed together easily, never becoming awkward or uncomfortable. As the night went on, your nerves fell away, as did his.

You were talking about your favorite movies when your food arrived, but even then, your conversation continued. At one point, he paused mid-second. “You’ve got something, “ he pointed to his face. “Fuck it, this is gonna be so cheesy.” He grabbed his napkin and wiped the bit of sauce you had on your cheek off.

You blushed in embarrassment, “thanks.” He was right, the moment was very cheesy. His hand pulled away slowly, lingering near your skin a bit longer than necessary. You didn’t mind though.

As much as you hated to admit it, especially since you had only known him for one night, you could be really into him. And that scared the fuck out of you.

Colson was, too, scared shitless. Why the fuck was his heart fluttering every time you giggled. He’d just met you. But already he could tell you were something special.

 He paid for dinner, like a gentleman, even though you protested. “It’s our first date, I am paying.”

You liked the way that he said, “first date,” implying there may be more. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to pay next time.” You said, smugly.

His eyebrow raised in question, a small smirk on his face. “We’ll see about that. I might just give them my card ahead of time.”

“Then I’ll just have to get there before you.”

You two laughed at your small competition as he led you to the parking lot, his hand in yours. “Did you drive?” He asked and you shook your head no.

“I called an uber. Speaking of…” You reached for your phone before he stopped you.

“Let me drive you home. If that’s okay?”

You let him lead you to his car, hand still tightly in his. He pulled the door open for you, guiding you in. Everything with him seemed like a new experience, his gentleman gestures catching you off guard.

“You should play me some of your music.” You told him when he got in. He smiled at that, pulling his phone out and opening his library.

“I don’t know if you’ll like the type of music I make.” He blushed, scrolling through to find a song he thought you might like.

You rolled your eyes, “well I like you so I think, by proxy, I’ll like your music.”

He bit his lip to hide the way his face lit up at your subtle confession. “Just don’t say that I didn’t warn you.”

You heard a somewhat familiar rhythm, something you had probably heard on the radio. “Wait, this is you? I swear I’ve heard this before.”

He smiled, glancing over at you before turning his attention back to the road. “Yeah, me and my friend Matt dropped this right before my last album release.”

You let the music play, listening to his voice as he sang. “You know, this somehow sounds exactly like you and nothing like you at the same time. Like if you hadn’t told me I don’t think I would’ve known this was you. But I do know so I can hear it.”

He chuckled but didn’t say anything, occasionally looking at you as you nodded your head to the music. A few more of his songs played from Tickets to My Downfall and you seemed to enjoy it. “You’re really good.” You commented. Your voice was truthful, you weren’t trying to flatter him, you were just saying what you thought. Your words were genuine.

He didn’t know why but hearing that from you meant so much more to him than he expected it to. He finally parked in front of your house, getting out and opening your door for you. Like a true gentleman, he walked you to your door, pausing before you unlocked it.

You turned to face him, looking up into his bright eyes. “I had a really good time tonight.” He said softly. “Probably the best night I’ve had in a while, honestly.”

You smiled widely, “I did too, Colson.” You grabbed his hands in yours, swinging them slightly. “I’m really glad we did this.”

He nodded, leaning closer to you, “would you, maybe, wanna do this again?” He asked, his voice falling closer to a whisper.

“I was hoping I had made that obvious when I said I’d pay next time.” You giggled, leaning up closer to him.

He rolled his eyes playfully, “just wanna make sure you didn’t change your mind.”

“Trust me, I didn’t.” You whispered, before leaning up and connecting your lips with his.

The kiss was short and sweet, but it seemed like everything you had ever wanted. When your lips left his, you both stayed very close to each other, hands still clasped. His face was still only inches from yours, eyes studying your every feature.

Eventually he let out a small sigh and leaned back up. “Well, uh, goodnight, Y/N.” He smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck as he took steps backwards towards his car. You smiled at him, waving a small goodbye before turning to unlock your door.

Your hand touched the handle before you turned around, finding Colson in the same situation at his car door, still looking at you. “Do you maybe wanna… come in?” You asked, biting your lip. His face lit up, a smirk highlighting his features.

“I would love that.”

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

💎💍TO CATCH A THIEF💍💎

Prompt: Inspired by the song: To Catch A Thief by Lovage

Word Count: Really Long, girl 😩

Pairings: 1930’s Mob! Roman Reigns x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, smut (implied), murder, manipulation.

Tagging: @ziasaph , @marlananicole , @akiko-tanaka , @nicolewoo , @saccreigns , @mindofasagittaruis , @reigns-5sos , @auawdo , @lustyromantic , @babydee17 , @yungbludjazz360

Notes: As cliche as it sounds, I’m a truly lover of music and love different genres. I love to be able to show different types of bands/ projects/ music that sometimes people might not even know exists. So this little fic is inspired by one of my favorite music projects EVER: LOVAGE (it has Mike Patton on it, so of course I would love it! The man has been my musician crush since I was 9 years old! And he’s amazing, so). Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) You can check them out on my Masterlist. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part, shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

Of course I’ve heard of them and of course they’ve caught my interest! The Reigns’s and Uso’s were one of the biggest gangsters families among the USA, who were responsible for the biggest robberies across the country.

The current rumors spreading around the neighborhood swore they were here, hiding from the authorities, in our small little town.

And I would give anything to meet one of them. As the daughter of a prostitute, my only fate was to follow my mother’s footsteps but I am more ambitious than that! The only way to prosper in life is to be completely feared. Be feared not respected as Machiavelli himself taught. And I know, for a fact that, that is completely true! Growing up in the red light neighborhood had proved to be quite the life lesson, actually. ‘Don’t trust the police’, ‘Make alliances with criminals’, ‘Trust no one’, ‘Don’t snitch’, ‘You never hear or see anything’, ‘Mind your own business’, ‘Don’t allow people to mind YOUR business’, ‘Show no emotions’, ‘Always be smarter than your enemies’, were a few of those rules. People think that, for a woman to be perfectly successful in the 1930’s she needs to be a trophy wife, nothing more than a beautiful face with zero brains and a pair of open legs to a rich husband. But they are wrong! You see, any woman can use her beauty and charm to manipulate and conquer whatever she wants, but she can only maintain that manipulation power if she’s smart enough. I’ve had the town mayor, Mr. Heyman, gift me a beautiful diamond crown (that originally was meant to be his wife’s birthday present) just with some charm and sweet nothings whispered to him. I didn’t needed to warm his bed for it, I just had to be smart enough to understand his weaknesses and say the right words! I know what I want, so I get it, and believe me when I say: I will have Roman Reigns all to myself.

Things were disappearing in my neighborhood

Once again somebody was up to no good

I saw that you were wanted, but not like I wanted you

And that's when I knew I had to be with you

And that's when I knew if I didn't, I'd be through

To end my grief I'd have to catch a thief

Your love was my relief my love is your release.

Ah! Mayor Heyman’s high society ‘charity gala balls’ (aka meet your husband’s new mistress), were the most futile yet amusing events of this town. I wasn’t a high society woman, economically speaking but again I’m good at saying the right things to the right people. So it’s no surprise to see my name in the mayor’s guest list.

I entry the big doors of the city hall wearing my most recently acquisition: an emerald green velvet dress (gifted by the Senator John), my high heels (Another gift from Mr. Smith, the banker) and my hand purse (from the all so lovely Mayor Heyman)...Speak of the Devil.

“Y/N” He greeted

“Oh, Mayor Heyman. What an honor” I smiled sweetly

“Believe me, it’s my honor, dear” He kisses my hand in an flirtatious way. And it’s a good thing I’m great at keeping my gag reflex in control.

“Oh please, I’m the one who has to thank you for always reminding little old me for your tremendously chic events. I can’t express my gratitude enough for you always having so much compassion in your heart!” I scoot closer to him, slightly fixing his tie “It is such a shame that you’re a married man, mayor Heyman, I would have loved to be your wife” I whispered softly

He gulped “I can change that” He smirked

“Oh please, mayor!” I stepped back with a offended look on my face “As a Christian woman, I cannot support divorce! That is some type of thinking that will lead us directly back to sodom and gomorrah! I can’t believe you just said that to me” I make the sign of the cross

“I am so sorry, Y/N it was not my intention-“

“I am not a prostitute or a home wrecker, mayor Heyman! I am a woman devoted to the Lord and I will not accept or tolerate that type of language or insinuations towards me!”

“I am deeply sorry Y/N, I truly am! Let me make it up to you. Here” He fastly signed a blank check “Please take this”

“I can’t” I whisper, pretending embarrassment

“Please, Y/N! It’s the least I can do. You can use it for whatever you want, no matter the price. I could never offend you! You’re such an amazing woman. Please accept it!” His pleading eyes let me know I had him hooked.

I ‘reluctantly’ accepted “Well, thank you, so much” I murmur with tears upon my eyes

“No, I’m the one who has to thank you, for dismissing my ogre behavior” He smiled “I’ll leave you now, so you can fix your makeup”

“Thank you, mayor Heyman”

Once he’s out of my sight, I can drop the naïve girl routine.

“Impressive” A deep male voice spoke from behind me

When I turn around, my knees almost failed me... it was him.

“I beg your pardon?” I ask

“The little stunt you just did with the mayor, was truly impressive. I swear that if I didn’t saw you get out of your naïve christian woman character I would have one hundred percent believed too” He smirked

“Mr. Reigns. That’s a compliment coming from you”

“You know who I am”

I shrugged “I’ve heard a few things here and there”

He gets closer to me, until our faces almost touched

“Yeah? Tell me, Y/N. That’s your name right?” He asked and I nodded

“What have you heard, Y/N?”

“How your the head of the table on your family’s business” I mumbled

“How does a woman like you, know about my family’s business, Y/N?” He walks forward, making me step back until I my back reached a closed door.

“I was raised on the streets”

Roman’s eyebrows raise in surprise “Really? You don’t seem like the streets type” He said, caressing my cheek.

“I had to learn how to be more polished if I didn’t wanted to become a hooker”

“I see” He buried his nose on my neck, inhaling deeply my perfume as his hands rested on my waist “And I imagine your perfume is also a result from a similar scene with the mayor” Roman whispered in my ear

“The senator not the mayor” I cackled

He amusingly laughs on my ear “You have friends in high places, huh?” His hands moved up, cupping my breasts through the dress

“People use what they have, Mr. Reigns” I look into his eyes “You use you intimidating strength” I squeeze his biceps “And I use my womanly charm” I batted my lashes “They’re both means to an end”

Come into my window

It's open every night

That's where I'll be waiting

I'll keep off all the lights

I'm lying on my bed

Crown jewels on my head

The loud knocks on my front door made me quickly get up. Going down the stairs I can see a tall manly figure waiting for me to come and answer. I grab my Colt 1908 Pocket Hammerless gun from the little drawer on my cupboard.

Placing my finger on the trigger I opened the door.

“Yes?” I ask harmlessly

“Mrs. Y/N?” The tall Samoan man asked

I nodded once

“My name is Jey and I’m here in behalf of Mr. Reigns”

I nodded again

“Why don’t you come and take a ride with me?” Jey coldly smiled

I'd never give you up

So come in from the cold, let your guard down

I'd hide you from the cops

Don't be frightened now my love

I'll take the life of crime, all to make you mine

The hotel room is big, fancy and very expensive by the looks of it. If I had to take a lucky guess, I would say that he’s not paying for anything in here, it is all a curtesy from the mayor.

“I’m glad you came” Roman smiles

“Did I had a choice?” I tilted my head

“No, you didn’t” He chuckled “Can I offer you anything to drink?”

“Are you going to drug me if I say yes?” I joke

“Depends on your answer to my proposal” He smirked

“Proposal?”

“Yes” Roman got up from his chair coming to stand in front of me

“You see, Y/N. You’re a very, very interesting woman. Ambitious, smart, charming, intelligent and gorgeous. You’re not easily scared, in fact, it looks like you enjoy danger” He pulled me closer to him, until our bodies were pressed together “I could use a woman like you in my business. At the gala ball you told me about your goals in life and I could see with my own eyes you successfully work your magic on every men in that room. So, what I propose to you is: come with me, I’m leaving town tomorrow and I would like for you to come with me, be a part of my team, use your looks and your brain to our favor.”

“And what’s in it for me?” I asked

“Money, power, jewels...Anything you want” He sincerely said

“What if I would like to add you to that package?” I whispered

Come in off that roof top

You're so handsome dressed in black

See you in the shadows

I'd like to see you on your back

Take this precious treasure

And I will treasure you

Roman smirked “So be it! If you want me too, then you can have me”

He leaned down, capturing my lips in a famished kiss. Pushing me down on the bed, his broad body hovering over mine, grinding, kissing, biting, panting, pounding and moaning until the first rays of sunshine from the next day peaked through the curtains...

6 MONTHS LATER

“What do you say about we take a drink, Mrs. Reigns?” Tony, my husband’s arch enemy and Capo of the Italian Mob asked

“I would love to” I smile sweetly as I hook my arm in his. Going to the back alley.

“I figured it was already time for you to leave that husband of yours for a real man, you know? And I knew you would come to me, sugar” Tony winked

“You’re right, Tony. I do need a real man” I smirked to the shadows when the gun fired.

Tony’s body fell down by my side on the dirty alley street

“But you didn’t thought you were that man, right?” I cackled

Roman’s arm circle around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

“Hello Tony” He smiled “Did you really thought you could have her?” Roman chuckled “C’mon, we both know she’s too much of a woman for you! You can’t handle it! I bet you’re regretting to have thought with your dick now, don’t you?”

“She will leave you eventually Reigns. Just wait for it!” Tony spat

I pressed my high heel on his chest wound, pressing it down and making Tony scream in agony

“You watch your mouth, you fucking fat pig! You know nothing, you ARE NOTHING! I would never leave Roman for you” I laugh “I will never leave him for anyone” I smile at him, aiming to his head and pressing the trigger right afterwards.

We'll run away my dear

Some place special have no fear

We'll even change our names

We'll be kinky, we'll be strange

I'll take the life of crime, all to make you mine

All to catch a thief

Your love is my relief, my love is your release

Your love is my relief, my love is your release

All to catch a thief

“You are perfect” Roman whispered, kissing me vigorously in front of Tony’s dead body. “C’mon. Let’s get out of here” He opened the passenger door of his Rolls Royce and I enter it.

Once we’re driving through the highway he says

“I can’t wait for us to get to the hotel” Roman kisses my hand, intertwining our fingers “I’m going to fuck you senseless” He growls

And I can’t help the happiness smile that spreads on my lips..

[topazy]

The Fierce And Broken

2.06

Masterlist

You stepped back and stared at Raven speechless, even in the darkness you could tell she was blushing. Did she regret kissing you? You hoped not.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I shouldn’t have done that. Now I’ve made things weird between us-”

Now it was your turn to cut her off. You pressed your lips against hers, she kissed you back and you remained like that until you pulled away to catch your breath.

“Um...I suppose we should go to bed,” Raven said in a soft chuckle.

“Yeah it’s late, and I imagine you need to rest that brain of yours.”

Raven flopped down onto the bed, “you have no idea.”

—

Tracking a person down in a small camp was surprisingly hard. You were about to give up when you heard Abby’s voice. “And where's Marcus now? Imprisoned still? You're just going to leave him there? Like the kids in Mount Weather? If we run, who's going to rescue them?”

“You weren’t there, Abby. I saw them. Warriors trained since childhood to fight and die for their cause. As we speak, they are marching on this camp. And trust me when I tell you, the right choice is to live, so that we can come back and fight another day.”

“Inspirational words from a man who sent children to their deaths,” you ignored the look on Jaha’s face and looked directly at Abby. “Sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you I’m accepting your offer. I’ll train with you.”

A smile spread across the doctors face, “good. I’m so glad you are taking this opportunity, your father would be so proud.”

You frowned at her comment and left the room not interested in the deceit of it all. None of the adults who came from the ark cared about anybody else expect from themselves or their children, you could understand that but not the acting like one happy family.

—

“Hey,” you whispered entering the tent.

Raven let out a groan before sitting up, “what time is it?”

“Early, very early.” You crawled onto the bed and laid down face first. “Nothing new has happened since last night.”

“Can I ask you something?” Raven sounded nervous. You turned to face her and nodded. “Last night...that kiss... I didn’t weird you out did I?”

“No, that’s why I kissed you back.”

She smiled at your comment. You knew it must be hard for Raven to try and avoid any awkwardness around the situation. “Good, because I was afraid you wouldn’t have kissed me back.” Her confession took you by surprise. “I think you are amazing Alba, I really do-” she paused for a moment trying to find the right words. “Me and Finn are over, but a part of me is still hurting and I don’t want to use you as a rebound. I’ve already made that mistake with Bellamy and you are to import for me to risk it.”

“I’m happy being friends if you are?” Truthfully you were a little disappointed, but you admired her honesty.

The brunette let out a frustrated sigh, “I do want to be more with you Al but-I’m scared to rush things in case I get hurt again, or even worse I hurt you.”

“Did you just ask me to go steady with you Reyes?”

“I did,” she laughed before leaning back next you on the bed. “So what do you say?”

You linked your fingers with hers, “I suppose so.”

Raven shoved you playfully. You filled her in on the conversation you overheard between Abby and Jaha. She still couldn’t believe that you confronted Abby on behalf of her. Your unusual moment of calmness was interrupted by Clarke barging into the tent, the blonde was in her usual frustrated state and was oblivious to you and Raven holding hands. “Y/N we have a meeting with the commander right now.”

You sat up fast, “we?”

“The commander won’t listen to me on my own, you still have the bruising from what the mountain men did.”

Rolling your eyes you stood up with a groan. “Yeah, I can show them it as proof I get it. Can you give me a minute?” Clarke stared at you blankly. “Jesus Griffin, I’m wanting to change okay.”

“Fine, but we need to leave in a couple of minutes.”

Quickly you changed your top into a more appropriate one. Running in a thin vest top wasn’t a good idea. Once your jacket was on you made sure to have Anya’s hair in your pocket. “You don’t need to go, If you don't want to.”

You gave Raven a sad smile before making sure not to forget anything important. “If there’s a chance to get our people back I need to try,” you squeezed her hand. “Stay safe Reyes, I’ll be back soon.”

—

“If you so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat.”

You gulped down at Gustus’s threat. You fully believed he would kill you and Clarke without a second thought. Another grounder stepped forward and introduced the commander.

“You're the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive,” the commander's words were laced with venom as she spoke.

Clarke stepped forward, “you're the one who sent them there to kill us.”

“Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the sky people?”

Answer? You frowned at the blonde standing next you. She has failed to mention any kind of deal, or questions had been discussed prior to this meeting. Clarke had an answer for her, “I’ve come to make you and offer.”

The commander's expression remained the same and emotionless, Clarke had really pissed her off. “This is not a negotiation.”

Another grounder spoke to the commander in trig. You didn’t know many words but you did pick up on ‘kill her’, You looked at Clarke confused. Was she trying to get you both killed?

“I can help you beat the mountain men.”

“Go on.”

As the commander spoke you noticed the other grounder eyeing you suspiciously. “Hundreds of your people are trapped inside mount weather, kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine.”

“How do you know this?” The commander wasn’t believing her story.

“Because I saw them,” she stepped closer again. “My people are prisoners, too. I was one of them. We both were.”

“Lies!” The angry grounder stepped forward. “No one escapes the mountain.”

“We did. With Anya. We fought our way out together.”

“Another lie. Anya died in the fire. You killed her!”

“She’s not lying,” you said. “The mountain men are taking blood and bone marrow from both our people.”

The commander still looked unconvinced. Sighing you pulled your jeans down low enough to reveal your large bruise that has still yet to heal. “They took my bone marrow. I found Clarke inside mount weather, and while trying to escape we found Anya. We only had time to save her, but I intend on keeping my promise to return and free the others.” You reached into your pocket and pulled out the braid of hair. “Anya told me you were her second, I’m sure she’d want you to have this.”

“We don’t even know it’s hers”

“Anya was my mentor before I was called to lead my people,” the commander turned to face you and Clarke. “Did she die well?”

“Yes. By my side, trying to get a message to you.”

You couldn’t decide if Clarke’s memory of what happened was fuzzy, or if she was a really good liar. The commander held her hand up to Indra, “what message?”

“The only way to save both our people is if we join together.”

“Those who are about to die will say anything,” Indra spat. “The one you call Alba doesn’t seem conceived by Clarke of the sky people.”

Oh shit. Suddenly all eyes were on you. “Anya called me Heda gon bàsmhorachd, and heda gon mathanas and said one is a gift and the other is a weakness. “

The commander glanced from you to Clarke, “I’m still waiting for an offer.”

“The mountain men are turning your people into reapers. I can turn them back.”

Indra began ranting and yelling in trig.

“I’ve done it with Lincoln.”

You glared at Clarke as she said his name. Lincoln had always been good to your people. He’d saved Octavia, you, and Finn multiple times. Last time he tried to make peace it cost him his own people and Clarke had just given his location away.

—

Soon as you arrived back at camp Jackson said he needed your help. You excused yourself much to the dismay of Indra but the commander didn’t seem to care. After countless attempts of bringing the patient's temperature down Jackson eventually managed. He explained with such little resources it was becoming harder to help people.

“Hey doctor.” Turning to face the doorway you smiled seeing Raven gave you a confused look. “What are you doing?”

“We are short of blood so I’m doing what I can to help,” you shrugged. It was also a good reason to avoid any grounders that where still in camp. The interaction from before had left a sour taste in your mouth, although a part of that was because of Clarke.

“We should start calling you saint Alba,” Raven leaned against an empty table. “How did it go?”

“Truthfully I have no idea, Clarke told them she can turn reapers back into normal people.”

“Can she?”

“I’ve no idea you,” you pouted. “She’s not one for sharing what’s going on. I was completely blind sighted by some things that were said. I guess we can’t do anything but wait and see.”

“Do you trust them?”

You thought about it before answering, the grounders had no reason to trust the ‘sky people’ so they probably didn’t. “I think they will still have a ace up their sleeves. How did your day go?”

Raven shrugged, “still no change.”

Jackson entered the room just as the bag had filled with enough blood. He thanked you and removed the needle from your arm. Technically it wasn’t a good idea for you to be given blood after everything your body had been through recently but it was desperate times. You stumbled slightly when you stood up but Raven caught hold of you. “Al? You should sit back down.”

You gave her a lopsided grin, before gently kissing her. Raven smiled into the kiss before leaning back, “if you need anymore blood I can always donate.”

“Glad to hear, I’ll be back in a moment.”

You shared a look with Raven, “is he everywhere?”

Shaking your head you got out of the chair and let Raven sit in it. “I’m going to get changed, do you want anything from the tent?” Raven shook her head. “I’ll see you soon Reyes.”

—

Lifting up a cleanish top you changed into, and threw the previous one that was now covered in your blood to the side along with the rest of your dirty clothes. You had accidentally pulled the needle out when Jackson first put it in resulting a good top being stained.

You stepped out of the tent and saw Clarke walking back from the gates, she noticed you and walked over. “We saved Lincoln.”

“That’s great,” you were glad to hear Lincoln hadn’t died. He deserved better than to die as a reaper.

“Commander Lexa-”

“I need to stop you there Clarke,” you pointed towards the gates the grounders had just left though. “I’m not interested in any of that.”

“Your not interested in saving our people?”

The accusation that you didn’t care about your people after everything you’d been through together stung. “No, I want to save our people and the grounders who have been taken. But I don’t trust Lexa.”

“She is our best chance of helping.”

“Is she?” You saw the furious look on her face. “I’m just saying we don’t know enough about them, and she’s not going to just give us a alliance we will need to work for it.” Clarke’s silence confirmed your fear. “What has the commander offered you?”

“She will fight with us to get all of our people back.”

“What does she want in return?”

“Finn.”

[all-my-love-for-harry]

The first meeting.

summary: y/n and artemis met a handsome (to y/n) and intimidating (to artemis) man.

word count: 1.5k

a/n: hope you’re enjoying this ‘series’ as much as i am enjoying writing them! (also, i’m sorry if there’s any mistakes regarding y/n’s job. i’m not from the uk so i got the information from the internet)

you can find more of my shy little boy here

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

January, 2018.

If there was something Y/N enjoyed, was playdates. Ever since she got pregnant with she looked forward taking her little baby with their friends, have a conversation with other parents while they watch the kids interact. However Artemis’ number of playdates are limited, due to his struggle to make friends and talk with other kids.

But he did have one good friend, his name was Spike. The way the two boys became friends was still an unanswered question to Y/N, but she couldn’t have been happier when her little one had told her he had made a friend.

The Prendergast were a very chill, very fun family to spend time with, and it didn’t took long for Y/N to become close friends with Emi and Adam. They had started a little tradition to get together every other Friday night at each other’s places, and this particular Friday wasn’t Y/N’s turn to host the dinner.

The Y/L/N’s arrived on time, Artemis being excited to see his friend even though he just saw him at daycare earlier that day. He pulled from Y/N’s hand, making her walk faster.

“C’mon mummy!”

“Wait, we don’t want to drop the cookies we made!”

They made it to the doorway just before Emi pulled the door open and greeted them. “There you are, Spike was starting to wonder were his best friend was”

“Hi, we bought cookies” Y/N said as they stepped into the house, Artemis disappearing into the hallway as he ran towards the living room.

“You look tired, long week?”

“Sort of, collage students can take a tool on you” Y/N replied, sighing.

Y/N had recently taken a job as a collage teacher and while it has been a wonderful change in her family’s economy, it was indeed tiring and sometimes intimidating. But it allowed her to provide better for her little one, so she wasn’t going to complain.

“Well, tonight you can forget about work” Emi said, walking to the kitchen to place the cookies in the microwave to keep them warm. “Oh, I forgot to tell you but someone else is joining us for dinner”

“Oh?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “Who?”

“His name’s Harry, you’ll love him. He recently came back to London and Adam invited him over”

“I want you to meet him, he’s a nice guy” Emi’s husband, Adam, came into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Y/N’s shoulders. “I bet Artemis will love him too”

“Yeah, right” she chuckled. “As if you didn’t know my son”

“Worth the try” he smirked.

As if it was a sign, the doorbell was heard inside of the house, indicating someone new had just arrived. Y/N walked over the living room to see what the kids were up to, and she found Silver, Spike’s older sister, teaching the two boys how to drink tea properly. She smiled at the sight as she took a seat on one of the couches.

She heard voices coming closer to where she was, but it wasn’t until she heard the stranger laugh that she turned over to see. A handsome man stood beside Adam, he had chocolate curls adorning the very top of his head, along with beautiful emerald eyes joined by little crinkles at the side as he smiled at Emi.

He was beautiful.

Y/N saw as the three adults approached her, Adam smirking at her reaction in a way of telling her I told you so.

“Y/N, this is Harry. Harry, this is our friend Y/N” Harry offered his hand for her to shake and she noticed the rings adorning his fingers.

“It’s nice to meet you, love. I’ve heard wonderful things about you” he said as the shook hands.

“Pleasure’s mine” she smiled. She was gonna talk again but a little body crashed into her legs from behind, clearly hiding. “This is Artemis. Say hi, baba”

The little boy said nothing as he pushed himself further into his mum’s legs, clearly feeling intimidated of seeing a very tall stranger standing in front of his mummy.

“Hi Artemis, I’m Harry” he offered the boy the most friendly smile he could provide but he still wasn’t responding.

“I’m sorry, he’s… uh, very shy” Y/N blushed. “Darling, remember we’re polite to people” she said to her son.

Artemis let go of Y/N’s legs and took another peek to Harry, who was now crunched down to his level to make him feel more comfortable.

“Hello, Sir” he finally said, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as he spoke.

Harry chuckled. “You can call me Harry, mate. I’m not that old”

Artemis nodded again. Silver and Spike came running to hug Harry, chanting Uncle Harry over and over again.

After the greetings, the kids went back playing and Y/N went to sit back on the couch, knowing how her son always wanted her close whenever he was feeling shy.

“Did I scare him?” Harry came with two glasses of wine. He sat beside her once she took it, mumbling a thank you.

“You didn’t. He’s just not so good with strangers”

“Missing his dad perhaps?” he inquired.

“You can miss someone you’ve never met” she chuckled before taking a long sip of wine.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay, I’m joking. I mean, he hasn’t met that piece of shit indeed but its fine”

“If it matters, I bet he’s an idiot” he leaned down to her, as if he was telling her a secret. Y/N snorted. “Anyway, I still hope I didn’t scare him”

Y/N shook her head. “Usually he’s like this, especially with other men, he doesn’t know many”

Harry turned to look at Y/N’s son. He was no older than four, he guessed. He had blonde, curly hair and hazel eyes. Harry thought his facial features were all from his mum, and he was so damn adorable.

“You have a very adorable one, looks just like his mum” Harry said, smirking at her.

“I know, right? Worth every back pain I had during nine months”

The two talked a little longer and Harry moved closer to her as their glasses became emptier. Harry thought she was very beautiful and charming, just like Adam had described her before.

He learned Y/N was 25 and a professor at UCL and she teaches at the UCL Department of Spanish and Latin American Studies in the Faculty of Arts and Humanities. He also learned Artemis was indeed four years old and had a passion for my neighbor totoro even though he has never seen the movie before.

“He just really likes the character” Y/N would say.

It was refreshing to see someone so put together at 25, he would admit. Everything that came out of her mouth was interesting for him, as he wanted to learn as much as possible from her.

The entire group had dinner outside, enjoying the beautiful night with light conversations and some more wine. Harry tried to talk to Artemis, but he still refused to answer him something else aside from ‘no’, ‘yes’ and ‘thank you’ for the time Harry complimented his shirt.

Every time, Y/N would send him an apologetic smile but he dismissed it offering her one of his own. He’s met shy children before, but usually none of them would be so closed off to him. He was good with children, heck, he loved them. But the one time he actually needed his charms with them to work, mostly to impress the pretty woman who happened to be the mum of said child, of course they didn’t.

In the other hand, Y/N was not surprised by her son’s reactions and felt bad for Harry every time he would try to talk with Artemis. She knew he didn’t do it to be impolite or rude, he just genuinely got that nervous around strangers. He even yelled stranger danger one time when a man asked him his favorite ice cream flavor, that man was an employee serving them the ice cream.

At the end of the night, everyone said their goodbye’s and Y/N went out of the door with a half sleep four year old laying on her shoulder as she carried him to the car.

Emi pushed Harry’s shoulder, silently telling him to go help her. And that’s what he did.

“Thank you” she said when Harry opened the backseat door for her.

“You’re welcome” he smiled. He observed how Y/N put Artemis on his car seat and buckled his seatbelt across his little chest. He also opened the door for her as the gentleman he was. “I… had a great time tonight”

“Me too. It was nice meeting you”

“Perhaps… we could go out some time?” he asked nervously. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to”

“I’d like that actually” They exchanged numbers quickly and Harry noticed how her lockscreen was a picture of Artemis in a Mickey Mouse costume.

“I’ll call you” he assured her.

“I’ll wait for your call” she smiled at him one more time before closing the door and starting her car and driving away.

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

Taglist!!

@odetostep

[papergirllife]

Chapter 1

Synopsis:

You don’t know what it’s like to be free, to make your own choices, and live your own life. For your whole life, your parents have been treating you like a puppet on strings, controlling your life to every single detail, as well as ignoring the fact that you have feelings. Other times, when you disobey their wishes, or speak up about your own opinions, they bash you down with words, in other words, psychological abuse, has led you down the long winded road of depression and anxiety. What happens when you meet a man who’s willing to be your guide out of this terrible downpour? Would you give a shot at happily ever after?

Warnings:

big age gap (kinda?)

issues on anxiety

issues on depression (mild)

issues on parental abuse

smut (maybe)

Tag List: @etherealtyjaem​ (lmk if you wanna be on the list)

It has always been like this, being locked up in the study room so you could ‘study’ for hours end, or that’s what they think you’re doing. You studied in an elite academy with your smart cousins, only to have you graduating with average grades, which of course, earned you a harsh scolding from your parents. Now, you’re supposed to be studying business for university, even though you had zero interests in it, the subject is fine, it’s what you’re studying it for that irks you. Your family runs a business in Seoul, but from what you can see by secretly skimming through the files as well as the arguments behind shut doors with your aunts and uncles, things aren’t going as planned.

You don’t have many friends, nor a phone, they took it away from you when you wanted to go out with some friends, claiming that it’s a distraction that should be locked away. You felt like Rapunzel, locked away from the world, they don’t have any love for you, you’re quite sure they don’t, they had once slapped your face ten times when you had a boyfriend behind their backs, and you were 15 for god’s sake, along with other things that you rather not say, you don’t want to relive all those painful memories.

Sometimes you wished you could go back to the time when you were a child, when you were at your grandparents’ in the morning, her warm smile and loving eyes, when you didn’t know what laid ahead. You wish you hadn’t realised that you were being abused, you used to think what you went through was the same for other kids as well, until you talked about it with other people and scared them away from you. The painful memories sinking back in made the words in front of you blurry as you felt tears seeping in your eyes.

Depression.

It’s deemed as something ridiculous in your family, and that people who are suffering from it are weaklings and don’t deserve anything from this society.

‘Does that mean I’m weak?’

You never went to therapy nor took any medication for your mental illnesses, and recently the development of anxiety attacks are constantly putting you on edge. You have them at least once a week, sometimes you even had problem breathing, but you couldn’t tell anyone about it, nor anyone would ever listen to your cries of help.

“We’re going to help sell your uncle’s house this Saturday,” your mother said as she was folding the clothes.

“The mansion he recently bought?” you asked, confused as to why he would sell the mansion he was obsessed with just two months ago.

“Yes, he bought that without our permission back then, so now we need to sell it for funds, and you need to be there to entertain the potential buyers, give them a tour around the house and other enquiries. You have to direct them to us if you think they’re truly interested, it’s going to be an open house concept party,” cold, that’s how your mother sounded, her claims of putting family above everything else flying out of the window whenever her demands are not met.

“Okay, is there anything else?” you asked, hoping to be excused as soon as possible.

“No, you can continue your studies in the study room.”

That’s what basic communication is in your life, you tried talking about your interests, your opinions, but they either fall on deaf ears, or you would receive a lecture for having a ‘false perspective’. You’ve given up on talking to them about things that are going in on your life now, they don’t listen anyways.

The party is filled with old men with their muffin tops waddling around with a wine glass in hand and talking obnoxiously loud, obviously having too much money to go by, looking at how overly filled their bellies are.

You tried hiding away in the house, but your family kept pushing you out to talk to them. Their stares were not intimidating, no, but it made you feel uncomfortable as their gazes linger a bit too long on your legs or anywhere else, and the way they didn’t want to let go after they shook your hand, made your anxiety levels rise to the roof.

You would find random excuses to run away, like going to refill their glass or saying you need to use the loo, your heartbeat going as fast as your legs could take you away from them.

When you came back out from hiding for the 6th time, both your parents were rushing you to meet someone new.

“He’s a man of great fortune and power, so the chances of him buying this house is high. Don’t try to hide from this one, or you’ll get it when we get home,” your mother warned, her eyes side eying you with daggers.

Your mother’s threat made you sick inside, what are you to them? A scapegoat?

You weren’t paying attention to who or where was she pushing you to, but once you stopped, the man in front of you made your eyes as big as saucers.

‘How is a man like this doing here?’ you thought to yourself.

“Hello Mr Suh, we’re quite busy at the moment with other potential buyers. Why don’t we allow my daughter, Y/N, to show you around?” your mother said, her voice overly sweet, like day old cotton candy.

Once you were in front of him, your parents left. Leaving you helpless as your social anxiety kicks in, your eyes trained on his shoulder, eye contact, especially from this man, made you very nervous.

“C-can I give you a tour?’ you asked, hoping to ditch him halfway.

Johnny looks at the way your eyes avoid his, it wasn’t hard, given how tall he was, there’s just something so intriguing about you, so different from the girls that throw themselves at him with zero doubts.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Johnny,” Johnny introduced himself by bending down slightly, a friendly smile on his face, one that you can’t decipher whether he had similar intentions as those nasty old men had.

To say that the tour was horrible would’ve been an understatement, you kept stuttering under his piercing gaze, instead of looking at you like you were his next meal like other potential buyers, Johnny was genuinely listening to what you have to say. You didn’t think the house was any interesting, it was just a bunch of useless expensive things under one roof, like the movie room, the slides at the pool, the ‘mini’ bar. These things weren’t appealing to you, riches are overrated when it becomes too common, like your cousins and their different designs of Birkin bags, you weren’t exactly fond of their favourite alligator skinned ones as well.

Yet Johnny didn’t look at the cliche setting that you are currently presenting, instead his eyes are trained on yours, it wasn’t a scrutinizing gaze like the wives of those perverted men who stared down on you, nor anything that seems predatory, it only held calculation and observance. On the house? It doesn’t seem like it. On you? You can bet this whole house that he’s met women far more beautiful compared to a plain jane like you.

“T-that’s all for the tour, Mr Suh. Would you want me to direct you to my parents, if you’re interested?” you asked, hoping that you’d get to be alone again.

“Can you take me to the park nearby? I’d like to see the facilities available in this housing area,” he answered smoothly, as if he had calculated every little detail in his life.

You nodded wordlessly at his request, taking him to see the park nearby the house. It was a weird sight, having a man as tall as Johnny towering behind you.

“This is the park,” you pointed stupidly, cursing at yourself, obviously this is the park,  anyone with eyes could tell.

Johnny inhaled the breath of fresh air this area offered, his shoulders not as tensed up after. A smile decorated his handsome face as he turned towards you.

“Let’s sit.”

Johnny directed you to the nearest park bench, his size taking up most of the bench, yet he scoots into himself as you sat down next to him, giving you personal space.

‘Does he think I’m going to lower the price of the house for him? I don’t even know how much they’re selling it for,’ you thought, thinking this man must be mad that an unimportant person like you could negotiate with him.

“I’m going to be honest with you, Y/N. I’m not interested in the house,” Johnny said, breaking the silence.

Your mom isn’t going to be pleased when she hears this, you thought as you bit at your bottom lip, thinking about how harsh is she going to react if she didn’t get a buyer out of this event.

“Thank you for taking your time for considering through out this-

“I’m interested in you.”

Did you hear that correctly or was your mind playing tricks on you?

You stared at Johnny as his hand comes close to your face, he wasn’t pulling you closer, instead his fingers reached out to gently graze the underside of your eyes.

“I can see what you’re hiding,” Johnny said solemnly, his eyes showing you pity.

You quickly took out your compact mirror out of your pocket, checking to see if you did a bad job on the concealer for your puffy eyes today, but it looked fine.

“I used to be involve in theater, and I’ve seen people covering unwanted marks or eye bags on their face many times. It’s not obvious to most people, don’t worry,” Johnny explained.

The touch of his fingertips on your face was filled with warmth, as well as his eyes when he looked at you now, if his eyes were honey you’ll be as addicted as Winnie the Pooh. His touch was quickly gone as it had came, his hand placed back into his lap as he stares ahead.

“I’m not going to assume anything, but from what I can see, I don’t think you deserve to be going through what you’re facing now. And as for your family’s company, it’s not going to last long even if they managed to sell this property out. You’re going to be in a much more disappointing situation when that happens, I’ve been in the business game my whole life, my predictions hardly go astray anymore,” Johnny said without a sliver of judgement, he was just laying out the cards for you to observe.

Johnny reaches for a card in his coat pocket and handed it to you, it was his business card.

“I can take you away from all this chaos raging among your family, if you can call it a family that is. I’ll be seeing you soon, Y/N,” Johnny said before standing up and walking away to the direction where his car awaits, his driver closing his door.

That was most definitely a statement.

[annab-nana]

2020...

You were probably the worst and best year of my life for several different reasons.

Worst because you took away my normal college experience. Worst because mentally, you haven’t been kind. Worst because you have taken several people who have meant a lot to me and many others. Worst because people I’ve thought of as good friends don’t speak to me anymore or turned out to not be who I thought they were.

Best because for some reason being stuck in quarantine brought my best friend and I a whole lot closer. Best because I found new hobbies that I love. Best because I’ve grown a lot as a person. Best because I’ve grown a lot on here and made writings that people have enjoyed. Best because I have impacted others in a positive way and helped people. Best because I have felt the happiest I have ever felt and the most love I have experienced as well. Best because I have made many new friends that mean the world to me and I just wanted to say a small thank you to all of these people.

@rebelemilu • Emily, I remember months ago when I reblogged an edit of yours and you kinda geeked out that I did that. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and it was shocking to me that someone who didn’t even know me loved me and my stuff. Then later in July when I first ever showed my face to this hellsite, I inspired you to do the same and I got to see your beautiful face and smile and I was so happy that I was able to do that for you. You have always been so kind and supportive of me and I will forever be grateful to you for that. Now I get to talk to you almost everyday and you send me the best gifs of our favorite men and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing friend Em and I love you so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.

@x-lulu • Lulu, this past month or so has been amazing! You are one of the strongest, sweetest, and most supportive people I know! Like you said, you feel like you can come to me with anything but that is how I feel about you. You have a soft warm safe presence about you that makes me feel comfortable and appreciated when I talk to you. Loneliness is my biggest struggle and I hate talking about it with anyone because it feels stupid when I say it but with you, I feel like I could discuss that with you without any judgement. Now that I know you I don’t think I could be without you. You’re just so wonderful and I wish everyone could have a lu as a friend. I don’t know what I’d do without my aesthetic queen that I love so much.

@https-luna • Luna, you are my luna bug! What else can I say? I love you so much and we’ve only really talked for the past twoish weeks but I feel like we will be friends for a long time. You are so incredibly smart and I love each and every one of your random fun facts. That makes my days so much better with your sweet personality. I feel like we’ve grown a lot closer these last few days and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are a talented writer and I love getting to see that first hand. My love for you will never die, luna bug.

@sguymon21 • Sara, I honestly don’t remember how our friendship started. I want to say it was because we started talking when I was reading your story, All Of My Wrongs, because I fell in love with it and then we just started talking. And then we exchanged Instagrams and then Snapchats and we’ve talked for a while honestly. You are such an amazing writer and a sweet and kind soul as well and I know that at times that people haven’t been that kind to you but I promise you are so much more than what people say. You are gorgeous love and your heart is even prettier.

@samcolbylife666 • Zach, I know this is probably weird considering we haven’t talked in several months but I still wanted to thank you. You were the first person I ever really talked to on here and I hope you’re doing well. I remember the random things we’d discuss right before all hell broke loose with corona. I was literally talking to you when I had to pack to leave my dorm for our “two week” break and I was excited that our spring break had been lengthened. I’m pretty sure your plans to go to Disneyland for canceled due to everything but I hope you still get to go soon. I don’t know if you still get on here but I’d love to talk to you again.

@xgingerblue19x • Ella, my love from the other side of the world haha I love you so much. Our journey started the night Sam broke his back. I was lowkey freaking out about it and you were there to calm me down and you sent me updates about it too. It was nice to have someone to talk to when I was super anxious about someone I look up to and care deeply about. Then a few weeks later, we all lost someone really important to us, Corey, and once again, you were there. You talked with me and I am not one to easily open up to others especially when I’m upset but with you, I felt safe and you made it easy. Since then, we don’t talk super often but we can always pick up where we left off and it feels normal and not awkward at all and I love that about our friendship. You are someone I know that I can lean on and I hope you know I’m here for you as well sweetheart.

@socialanxiety-queen • Becca, I love you so much! We were both scared to reach out to each other and anxious about making new friends but I’m glad that we started to message each other and play a little game of twenty questions. Even though we don’t talk that often, I will always love and support you and I know that I can talk to you about whatever I need to. Your heart is so pure and it is a beautiful thing inside a beautiful person. You make me so happy and I love how you remember the little things about a person and make them feel so loved and appreciated and I hope you feel as loved and appreciated as you make others feel.

@toriswrites • Tori, you are such a cute little bean and I love you! We started talking right before I combined blogs on maybanksbaby and you were the one who helped me gain the courage to finally combine my blogs after I had been thinking about it for a loooooong time. I don’t think you know how grateful I am for that because it was the best decision I’ve ever made and I couldn’t have done it without you and your encouragement. So thank you for talking to me through that because I probably would’ve never done it or I would’ve pushed it off for a while if I hadn’t brought it up to you.

@heaven-with-mark • Babe, I honestly have no idea where our friendship started. I think it was you posted something and I came to check on you and then we just started talking. And then we talked almost every day all day for like a month. We’d be going crazy as we stayed up late. You’d show me all your pets and tell me their adorable and unique names which I loved. We’d talk about several random ideas and we’d talk about our problems too. I know we haven’t talked that much recently but I really miss you and I hope you are doing well.

@lonely-xplr • Bree, you are someone I’ve always looked up to. Ever since I started writing on this app and joined this fandom, I’ve looked up to you. You are so smart and so nice to talk to. I know that if I ever need someone to talk to, I can go to you. You always seem to send me something nice right when I need it and I am so grateful for that and you. I love you so much and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @demxters • Liv, Nat, and Elle, I love you all so much! You are so kind and super supportive and I thank you guys for that. Y’all are so cute too and your friendships have made me so happy.

@reinad-snc @goddess-of-time-and-magic @reddesertcolbs @xplrtrash @sarcasmhadachild @colbylover99 @cartiercolby @ygsucks @starrybrock • to my @traphousedaily babies and Kayla, you all made me feel welcome in this Sam and Colby tumblr fandom family. When I joined this group of wonderful people, I felt like I wasn’t alone and just posting my fics. I felt like I apart of something greater and I made great friends because of it. Each of you are so incredibly sweet and amazing people and I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to meet you all and become friends with you too.

@itsnotgray @ilguna @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @xplrvibes @golbrocklovely @golbrockstar @turnupbrock @socialwriter @mrsmaybankhere @spilledtee @bricksatlandyswindow @dmonchld @killingbxys @nxsmss @mxltifandoms06 @uwubonebabie @rafej-cambanks @drewstarkeysbitchh @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @cognacdelights @tovvaa @moniamaybank @themaddies-obx @cuddlycolby @xplrsworld @makebank @rafeyybabyy • there are so many more but there is a tag limit to each post so I’ll probably comment to add some more but each of you have made my 2020 better. Some on small ways and others in bigger ones but each of you have brought me happiness and made me smile more so for that, thank you.

So after that reflection, I have realized that 2020 may not have been the greatest year of our lives but at least for me, the great points outweigh the bad ones tremendously. Here’s to 2021 :)

[newsatsix1986]

The prop department behind this show are incredible.

Not only did they truly make the magazine which Helen and Dale were doing the photo shoot for - the Australian Woman’s Day, they properly wrote an article to go along with the photos.

It took a lot of very close deciphering, but I was able to write down as much of it as I could. I hope it makes sense to you all. It’s adorable and romantic - discussing the first kiss, their Russell Street worries, Helen and Val becoming close that day, and how they knew that they found the other person quite attractive.

Happy reading, friends xoxo

Page One:

Title: Glamour, News and Romance - The Golden Couple of News.

There’s romance in the News At Six newsroom, and everyone is watching.

They are the celebrity couple that has set Melbourne ablaze.

From their luminous first kiss that eclipsed a comet, to chasing the Chamberlains in steamy Darwin, to their love galvanising in the wake of the Russell Street Bombing - Dale Jennings and Helen Norville’s romance has blossomed before our eyes.

We sat down with the golden couple of news to get an exclusive sneak peek into the lovers’ lives.

Every day as Melburnians wake, Dale is already in the newsroom; focused, primed, combing through the latest stories.

As a part of the hard-working News At Six team, he never quite knows what his day will look like, where he might be sent at the drop of the hat.

The one constant of his working life? When Helen Norville strides into his office, his heart skips a beat.

“It’s always an event when she arrives,” Dale tells me, laughing. “Heads turn, every time.”

We’re sitting on spacious lounges on the hot new cafe in Fitzroy, Arrondissement X. Sitting beside him is Helen, carelessly gorgeous in a mauve and teal blouse with puffed sleeves and a pleated grey skirt. She slaps Dale’s arm, bashful, then nuzzles closer to him.

“It’s true!” Dale continues. “There’s a magnetism about her. An energy. She just lights up the room.”

But for Helen, it’s Dale who has that certain je ne sais quoi. And whatever it is, it’s ruined her for other men.

Dale’s unlike any other guy I know,” she says. “He’s warm and kind, but also driven and strong. And he’s a great listener. When you’re talking to him, you feel like you’re the only person in the world.”

The story is legendary now. Dale was Helen’s surprise date for Geoff Walters’ 60th birthday party the night Halley’s Comet passed overhead.

We were denied a good look at the comet, but partygoers received an even more spectacular view.

It was on that balmy February night; rubbing shoulders with Melbourne’s elite amidst a once-in-a-lifetime celestial event, that Dale kissed Helen for the very first time.

“It was a surprise, to be honest,” Helen professes. “I’d invited Dale as a dear colleague, but when he kissed me something just clicked. It felt totally right.”

And despite how picture perfect the moment was - with half of Melbourne’s press just a few faces away - Dale insists it was completely unplanned.

“It was just a spur of the moment thing,” he tells me. “I mean, I didn’t think Helen would go for a guy like me, but she looked so stunning. I thought, “Come on mate, what are you waiting for?”

So began the romance that has captured the hearts of viewers across the nation.

But what events led to that magical moment? To date, Dale and Helen have been cagey about the origins of their romance...until now.

“It really started when Dale was assigned to produce me.” Helen explains. “It’s no secret that I’ve gone through a few producers in my time, blokes who didn’t take me seriously as a journalist. I knew right away that Dale was different. He wanted to work with me, not over me.”

“Helen had really bold ideas for special reports,” Dale adds. “I was drawn to her passion like a moth to a very glamorous flame.”

Page Two

These reports have now become a Monday evening staple - and one of the biggest ratings draw for News At Six.

It’s clear Melbourne can’t get enough of the romantically-entangled reporting duo - a dynamic that crystallised when Dale reporter live from a scorched Russell Street on 27th March.

Viewers the state over shared with Helen’s fear for Dale’s life, and her relief she felt when she saw he’d made it out unscathed.

“It was one of the most stressful days of my life.” Helen says, clutching Dale’s hand in hers. “Not only did we experience an awful attack on our city, there were hours where I didn’t know if Dale was safe. My feelings for him crystallised in that moment. I knew I loved him. Deeply.”

“Absolutely. Same for me,” Dale echoes. He grows solemn and his eyes glaze over - clearly reliving the horrific events of that day. In a strange way, it was the perfect moment for them to say “I love you.” It was the first time Helen met Dale’s mother! “We’d arranged a dinner for that night!” Helen says. “Of course, that got put aside. But she and I grew close that day.”

So how is our newly-minted media royality adjusting to life in the spotlight?

“It’s been strange getting used to it all.” Dale admits. “I get stopped in the street now - not as much as Helen, but blokes recognise me at the pub.”

But for the most part, it’s business as usual.

“We work hard, we’re passionate about what we do, and we’re passionate about each other,” Helen says.

I can’t help but ask Helen, “Is Dale as passionate in private as he is in public?”

She giggles, as Dale goes red. “Let’s just say we have no issues in that department,” she says, winking. It’s enough to bring the temperature in this cool French bistro up a few degrees!

As Helen steals a kiss from her blushing beau, I’m reminded of the couple’s enduring appeal. Who wouldn’t invite them into their living room of the evening?

While Geoff Walters has announced his imminent return to the desk, his recent health scare has shown the veteran newsreader is not as invincible as he previously seemed. I ask Dale and Helen if we might see them together on the desk, someday soon.

“Oh, we haven’t even moved in together yet!” Helen laughs. “Right now, we’re focusing on supporting each other to do good work and keep Melbourne informed.”

The couple are admirably humble about their ambitions. All the while as I wave them goodbye and watch them walk down Brunswick Street arm in arm, it’s hard not to think of them as the future of news; young, smart, totally in love, and with the whole world at their feet.”

Episode Six - Chernobyl (and a sweet magazine article)

Edited to include the full story! Thank you @dontwanderoff for linking me to the full article on Twitter!

[bangtanblurbs]

autumn leaves

song: autumn leaves by BTS

first experience: my first listen of autumn leaves was when HYYH pt. 2 released. thanksgiving had just ended -- it was 2015. i was well into my fourth year of undergraduate studies and going through both a rough patch in some respects but also in others -- hitting my stride. i remember my first listen through of HYYH pt. 2 was in my tiny dorm room, perched on my bed, avoiding the responsibility of studying for my final exams. autumn leaves followed skit in the tracklisting, and before skit came baepsae. talk about whiplash... my emotions were all over the place. immediately i was taken by the unique backbeat and the beautiful blend of devastating vocals with emotional raps. for me, autumn leaves was immediately a favorite of mine from the album -- following closely behind butterfly. i can confidently say today though that the song is one of my top ten bangtan songs of all time. something about the sound, the lyrics, and the emotions i can hear in their voices makes it one of the most powerful rap ballads in the bangtan repertoire. i can remember distinctly i came to this revelation around christmas of 2015 as i continued to loop HYYH pt. 2 and really feel each beat and sound within the individual tracks. 

at this time i was going through a period of great change in my life - and autumn leaves is the perfect song for change. it’s a song about losing a love but also about feeling as if you are losing a piece of yourself. there are many ways to interpret the song outside of just being another sad love song -- that is something that struck me. the lyrics speak to several facets of what happens when you give pieces of yourself to others, or when you reach crossroads in your life. finding this song at this particular moment in my life was like finding energy and light at a time of extreme darkness. it was healing. soothing. 

feelings: i have too many. as always. autumn leaves is special to me because when i listen to it i’m reminded of both the place i was in when the sound found me, but also more recent development in my life that continue to relate to the song. when i first heard autumn leaves, i’d recently ended a relationship i’d been far too invested in despite knowing it was going to be a dead end - for about three years. i felt like i was at a point in my life where i needed to figure out who the hell i was without the one i’d loved. it’s funny though - i was happy to be free of that relationship, to be free of him, the pressures he’d put upon me. what do dead leaves mean if not a new spring right around the corner? perhaps i was feeling lost, but in my mind it was only temporary -- the dead must fall away to bring forward the spring. 

that being said, i did mourn. not in the way you might think, but in the way that one mourns for lost time, lost identity. so often we, as women, give up our identities when we are in relationships. we allow others to define us in terms of those that we are in relationships with. i’ve realized this now that i’m older -- now that i’m more at peace with my bisexuality -- the notion that our patriarchal society defines us in terms of the men within our lives rather than our own talents and identities. this particular blog isn’t a space for my feelings on that topic though -- what i will say is that autumn leaves comforted me. perhaps i felt that i was at a point where my leaves were dying -- but does that mean the tree is dead? absolutely not. spring would come. my life would be reborn with a new focus taking over. 

this being said -- i’ve always been one of those people that holds onto the past. i always wanted to be solid, non-changing, someone with convictions that they carried along from life. i think this stems from experiencing the death of a close friend while i was very young. i cherished the memories associated with her to the point where i didn’t want to lose the person i was when i knew her. so that’s always complicated change for me -- made the moments where the last leaves fell from the autumn trees that much harder. sure, spring was on its way, but what did that mean? would i lose the memories and the moments when my leaves where at their brilliance the previous season? or would i still carry those with me? what if i needed to correct course and completely rewrite who i was over the past -- would that mean losing who i was when i was loved by those i valued in the past? of course not -- but for some reason the more emotional sides of me didn’t see things in such a fluid way. lost was more profound when i was younger because it was also accompanied with these fears over the loss of my identity. 

as i’ve gotten older i’ve realized that identity can have staying power whilst also being something that is fluid. transmuting something doesn’t mean destroying or overwriting it. it means building upon the base and modifying it so that things are more brilliant. the me that existed before and during my long-term relationship was the same me i’d carry into the future, but with many more improvements for my own wellbeing and ability to express myself. for me, autumn leaves is just that. whilst on the surface it may convey the emotions of a breakup -- it also simply conveys the feelings that we get when we progress from one period of life to another. we leave parts of ourselves behind in order to improve. does that mean we are fundamentally changed? absolutely not. it means that we have learned from the past -- that we have made progress. in the same way that trees grow and change over the years. perhaps they look differently (taller, greener in hue? more branches?) but they still provide us with lushness and shade. 

personal connection: perhaps i’ve jumped ahead... i’ve already delved into this in the feelings section. that being said... i hope that my story can bring comfort to someone else. or perhaps help you all think about the ways in which bangtan songs can promote healing in your own lives. 

since my initial experience with the song i’ve had many other moments where i’ve turned to autumn leaves for comfort. i didn’t just leave it in the past -- it’s come with me as i’ve gotten older and moved into new spaces in my life. particularly i quite literally moved and started a huge new chapter in my life. and on this, autumn leaves has been a song i frequently find myself searching for. there’s a line in the song that resonates with me -- it’s in the bridge: “i hold on to these faded memories / is this greed? / i try to look back on these lost seasons / i try to turn back” 

initially i’d been excited for my big move from atlanta to washington dc. i thought it’d be the moment where i finally showed people back home that i wasn’t a failure, that all the pride i’d held in myself and my intellectual accomplishments was valid... but partnered with that came the intensive homesickness, the feeling of being an alien. i wasn’t really welcome here in dc. i still don’t feel welcome, but that’s a story for another day - another song. the reality is though, i moved just as the seasons turned to fall. it felt like my old life was falling away, i was bidding adieu my old life -- the community that had raised me since i was eighteen -- it was all gone. i was scared, terrified my friends wouldn’t keep in touch, afraid i’d have to change who i was to experience success (mask my accent, dye my hair, use the language of the elites)... while it’s not a breakup in the way the autumn leaves reads, i felt like i was having to plead with myself not to let go of who i was just for the sake of being accepted here, or for the sake of making my day to day life easier. the beat of the song brought me comfort as i walked to school, where i received the fake smiles of professors and classmates... i pleaded with myself -- to never let the parts of me that had gotten me to where i was fall away... to always let those dead leaves be the fertilizer for who i was becoming, for the me that would deliver myself closer to my dreams. 

even now -- i listen to autumn leaves and think about what i’m going to carry forward as the seasons change and we begin to work our way into a new normal in this pandemic. what parts of me will remain? what relationships will i keep? what *should* fall away, and what will i beg to keep around rather it’s healthy or not? i’m not sure. but closing my eyes and listening to the steady sound of autumn leaves brings me nothing but comfort. 

song breakdown

musically: autumn leaves is one of the most iconic songs from the HYYH era. the beat is iconic, the mix of vocal line and rap line from verse to chorus is completely seamless, it’s almost like a ballad rap (so iconic of the HYYH era, with songs like love is not over). the asian style beats, and synth... the sounds of the song are flawless from start to finish. the underlying beat of the song is so smooth, it feels almost like constant crashing waves, the ebb and flow of the beat with a few accents to highlight the emotional pick-ups of the verses. 

now -- it was controversial at the time -- many claim that autumn leaves samples beats from deadroses by blackbear. rather that’s true or not, i don’t know. but i find that listening to both songs back to back, they’re speaking to a lot of similar themes but with their own distinct sound and messages. there’s something about the genius of the back beat mixed with the emotionally charged rapping that sets autumn leaves apart -- also the use of vocal line is completely distinct and adds to the emotion in the sound. 

vocally: i don’t have as much to say about the vocals in this song. they’re beautiful, with vocal providing honey belts throughout the choruses, which sound more like a repeated bridge. we also see the slower, more emotionally accented rap style from each of rapline. the integration of the vocals and rap are iconically HYYH and BTS. we see the raps pick up, and slow down providing for pre-choruses to build into the beautiful vocal ballad ranges. 

autumn leaves performed live -- it’s something incredible. something i’m thankful i was able to experience. bangtan obviously never disappoint, but you can really hear the emotions in their voice with autumn leaves. the perfect adlibs, the changing rap paces, the roughness of rapline’s lower registers... it delivers the sadder themes of the song perfectly. 

lyrically: time for a DEEP dive yet again. autumn leaves is about change, the loss of a love. of course meanings can be layered, it can be about change, but on the very surface its a song about loss of love because of changes over time. 

jin and jungkook start out the song beautifully. the lyrics lead in directly addressing the theme: “fall like those dry leaves / just falling without strength, my love.” indicating that the song is like a letter - it’s a message to a love. the speaker is comparing their situation to a dead leaf, useless... time has run out... time to leave and fade away... something new to come a replace. falling without strength, it seems as if the speaker is saying they’ve got no more fight in them anymore, they’ve given up and realized continuing the fight is futile. it’s time to just let everything fall away, fade into black. “your heart just goes far away / i can’t catch you / i can’t catch you anymore, anymore / i can’t hold onto you, yeah” as much as the speaker would like to hold onto the moment they are in, hold onto the person they’re with... they can’t anymore. the other person is too far away. time has led to them drifting further apart, their relationship falling away like a dead leaf.

yoongi starts off the first rap, leading in with heavy emotions and continuing the story, and theme of a tree moving into fall. “those fallen leaves that look so insecure / seem like they’re looking at us.” the leaves have already fallen off the tree now, they’re dead on the ground -- peering back up at the speaker and their partner. i interpret this as the leaves are looking back at something they used to be a part of, something familiar to them, just as leaves are a part of our lives, trees spectating our lives as we live. these leaves were a part of their lives -- and now they’re gone, a piece is dead now. “if i touch your hand, even if it’s all at once / it seems like it’ll all become crumbs” -- this line illustrates again the analogy that the leaves are like the speaker’s significant other, someone that might just crumble away like it was never even there before, like a dream, it’s that distant. “i only looked / with the autumn wind” the seasons have changed, it’s that time, it’s been that time, and now the wind is a force that finally pushing the leaf off the tree, finally pushing the relationship or moment of life to end. “your words and expressions that become cold at some point / i can see that our relationship is fading / an empty relationship like the autumn sky” this line directly refers to the relationship like the seasons -- there was a spring, beautiful and blooming, love blossomed. and in summer it burned. but as time went on, the clouds went away and the rain stopped (the autumn sky doesn’t bring the spring showers to nurture the relationship anymore) and the fire consumed everything, burning it out and leaving nothing. “an ambiguous difference compared to before / today of all days, the much quieter night” there’s nothing left -- there no more crackle of the fire burning, no more love. it’s empty, and gone. but nobody knew when it became this way or why, it just did. “one lead left clinging to a branch / it’s shattering, i see the end.” there’s something hanging on -- perhaps it’s just the memory -- perhaps it’s just the part of them that is afraid of change, that wishes they could stay in the warmth. but even so, it’s beginning to crumble, it’s beginning the process to fall away. “dead leaves becoming dried / the silence inside your aloof heart / please don’t leave me / please don’t leave me, crumbling dead leaves” from dead to dried, the emphasis is made that at some point things have moved past ending or that they have been done for quite some time and for them to now also be dried. that being said they’re dried, not gone, the memories exist the emotions have left their place. someday the marks of this relationship will impact and provide the basis for another with someone else -- for better or worse.

then, we reach the bridge-like chorus. it’s simple in lyrics despite emotion packed in tone. “i want the you that meets my eyes / i want the you that wants me again” this line indicates that the partner in this situation has walked away and had decided not to even acknowledge the speaker. to pretend they don’t exist, to remove them from their life -- perhaps to not even keep them as a memory. “please don’t leave me / please don’t fall / never never fall / don’t go far away” the speaker begins to beg, holding onto the last few minutes of whatever they believe is left of the relationship. the begging of “don’t fall” is at odds with the previous verse about a leaf already fallen -- perhaps the chorus is coming from a more desperate state, or a moment before the inevitable happened (the season changed, the leaves fell). 

the post chorus brings in jin and continues with the same lament - the same desperate begging. “baby you, girl i can’t let you go / baby you, girl i can’t give up on you” the speaker is determined to hold onto the moment before the final fall. they are unwilling to let it all go -- hanging on to the last moments but also to the memories it seems. “like those falling dry leaves / this love, like dry leaves / never never fall / it’s fading.” at this point the chorus has progressed to where the leaves are fading and falling -- morphing into something that is no longer a leaf anymore. what is the speaker holding onto any more? just as memories too fade -- is there anything even left?

the next verse brings in namjoon, it plays off of the themes and tones in yoongi’s verse. it begins with the leaves already having fallen. there’s no more grasping onto what was, it’s much more about moving on and the ways the memory frames our ability to go forward. “like all the dry leaves fall / like all the things i thought would last forever are leaving / you are my fifth season” the speaker couldn’t imagine this happening -- a fifth season, there is no such thing. the leaves have fallen, despite him never imagining that it would occur, he’s dumbstruck. there’s a level of naivety here -- speaking to the things they thought would last forever -- which harkens back to the entire HYYH era theme. youth. learning growth. namjoon is speaking to new steps in life happening after finding out that what was familiar and comfortable is gone, and will not return as he is stepping into a fifth season and uncharted territory. “even if i try to see you, i can’t look / you’re still green to me / even if the heart doesn’t move, it moves by itself / lingering feelings hung out piece by piece like laundry” namjoon is charging here that he’s placing more emphasis on the past and the memories he holds rather than wanting to confront the reality that the other person has changed. they’re still green - young, fresh, healthy... he can’t help but still be in love because he cannot confront the fact that the other person has in fact changed. and at the same time all of this change and loss has made him raw, he cannot conceal his feelings even when doing mundane day to day things... his emotions hung out for all to see. “only crimson memories fall / from above me / even if my branch doesn’t shake / they constantly fall” the colors have changed from green to crimson, he is forgetting the hard times -- the memories that are rotten. the other memories, even if he keeps trying to hang onto them, they’re also going - being tainted by the dark and unhappy reality of things begin done. “right, my love must fall / in order to rise” he realizes, he need to cut the baggage, cut his false belief that things are still good, so that he can start a new season and try again. embrace his youth once again and heal. “even when you’re near, my two eyes / are far away, it’s happening / i’m being thrown away like this / inside my memories, i become young again” he emphasizes again that he cannot confront the reality of loss of this other person but realizes that it’s completely out of his control - he is the one being thrown. but he knows he can retreat to whatever space he needs to in order to cope or heal, he can hide inside his youth in his mind. he can stay there until he heals and can emerge once again. 

the chorus the repeats again, but this time it moves into the beautifully delivered bridge by taehyung. he begins with his low and smooth range “why can’t i give up on you yet / i hold on to these faded memories” which calls directly to namjoon’s verse. the seasons are changing, but he cannot let go of the past. things are fading but they remain his refuge. “is this greed? / i try to look back on these lost seasons / i try to turn back” he begins to realize that there’s an element to these emotions that might be toxic, that he wants but he knows he cannot have what he wants, or that he wants too much. he wishes he could retreat back to the summer, or the spring. turn back time and hide in those brighter moments. 

the final verse is beautifully delivered with hoseok’s unique style. he offers an unexpected conclusion to the hopelessness of yoongi’s verse and the denial and dismissal in namjoon’s. “burn them brightly, woosh / it was all beautiful, right, our path / but they’ve all faded” hoseok remembers fondly the memories, reflects positively on the way that things had been going... but he recognizes that that path exists no more -- those leaves are dead and gone. he uses the word “burn” which is often what happens with dead leaves, they’re burning brightly those memories -- like they’re seared into his mind and heart. they’ll never leave his essence. “dry leaves come down like tears / the wind blows and everything grows apart all day” this line beautifully captures the mourning process and the confusion that follows -- the learning to unlearn and untangle your life from another person’s. to move away from something that was so permanent in your life and mind. “the rain is falling and you’re shattering / until the very last leaf, you you you” the weather references in this verse are fitting for the theme of seasons but they also take control away from the speaker - make reference to the fact that even as they speaker would like to, he cannot control his emotions just like he cannot control the situation and relationship coming to an end. the very last leaf -- he tried to hold on, he waited till the end, but finally the hope is gone. 

the chorus repeats with some additional lines bracketing it by taehyung. ultimately the song leaves us with a feeling of being unsettled as things came to an ended. time passed by and things changed -- and end was inevitable. memories are what is left to hold onto. seasons change, just like we grow up or change. things in our lives will run their course, especially relationships. we learn from them, and even if we don’t want them to -- they leave scars... no matter how much we plead. but the reality is, we can retreat to whatever place in our mind or memory that we need to in order to repair ourselves to try again.

performance: the main video that is available online for autumn leaves is a performance from HYYH on tour. i cannot pinpoint the location of the filming, but it is the same as it was when i saw BTS live in 2016 in macau for HYYH the epilogue on tour. you can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrM53Y9hHV0&ab_channel=lestwins1524 

the performance is very much understated but beautiful. vocals and raps are delivered with more emotion than was captured in the recorded version. members do not perform any choreographed dances, but lights and graphics highlight each member as they come into focus to deliver their portion of the song. it’s beautiful and it’s just what was needed to portray the emotion and depth of the themes in autumn leaves. 

in my own personal experience, seeing this song performed live was incredibly profound. the entire arena was silent. all eyes on bangtan and listening for each of the incredibly raw verses to be peformed. the crisp emotion laden in the vocal line choruses. the song is beautiful. it’s somber and mature. it exemplifies the drama of the HYYH era -- with lyrical and performance genius that is unparalleled. i’ve uploaded to this post my horrible video but i hope you enjoy ~~

tl;dr: autumn leaves might seem like another breakup song, but there’s more to it. it beautifully emphasizes the power of memory, time passage, and the desire to hold onto past versions of themselves. which for many listeners is far more profound than just a breakup -- there’s so many times when we need to leave behind moments in our lives, friends, family members... and while we want to hold onto something that is familiar, we can’t. they’re leaving, we are moving on... seasons come and go no matter how much we wish they’d just stay constant. dead leaves fall away, even when we’d wish the summer and spring would stay, they can’t. life is cyclical in nature. which harkens us back to the themes in spring day as well. the sun will always come out, the seasons will change... but we have to confront the fact that sometimes we will experience pain, loss, and change. 

[drivingsideways]

in search of a better dream

This is about three pieces of South Korean media that crossed my path recently: the dramas Search WWW and Flower of Evil, and the novel Kim Ji Young, Born 1982.

Disclaimer and context : I'm not Korean, I don't speak the language, and I've watched a very limited set of kdramas. The criticisms I make in this piece are not to single out kdramas, or kdrama fandom,  as what I've described exists in Western and other Asian media and fandoms as well.

 Under the cut for length:

There's a scene in the first episode of the hit 2020 k-drama "Flower of Evil" that made me want to quit watching the show within the first ten minutes. The scene goes like this: our protagonists, Cha Ji Won and Baek Hee Seung meet Baek Hee Seung's parents along with their four year old daughter. The occasion is Baek Hee Seung's birthday, and loving wife Cha Ji Won has set up a special birthday dinner for them. On the way to the restaurant, the daughter has already complained about how she's scared of her grandparents, and they don't like her. When we meet the grandparents, we see the truth of this- they are as cold as the Arctic to all three, but especially to their daughter-in-law and granddaughter. In a bid to smooth out the social awkwardness, Cha Ji Won instructs her daughter to greet her grandparents the way they had "practiced" earlier- a cutesy little greeting where the adorable Eun-ha makes a heart over her head and chirps "I love you grandma and grandpa". When this fails to soften them, Eun-ha retreats, looking scared and disappointed. Not to worry, Cha Ji Won has this completely figured out: if you try harder, she tells her four year old daughter, they'll eventually love you.

Reader, I was, as they say, mad.

We find out soon enough that this stellar bit of parenting follows from an abiding principle in Cha Ji Won's life. Her romance with Baek Hee Seung starts when a handsome oppa walks into the family store, and is a saga of her stalking and pursuing a man who repeatedly tells her he's not interested, until he finally gives in. The power of her persistence pays off when the emotionally distant and abrasive man, in a classic beauty-and-the-beast transition, becomes a loving boyfriend, and then later, husband and father. It's a fantasy- some might even say feminist fantasy come true- he's handsome, supportive, reliable, artistic,  the primary housekeeper and caretaker of their daughter while she pursues her demanding "dream" job as a police officer, and they have enough money to live in a charming and lovingly set up two-storeyed house in ruinously expensive Seoul. This is heterosexual female wish fulfilment at its peak, and it is all made possible because she persevered.

It all threatens to come apart with the discovery of the perfect man's dark past- for a brief period, she's forced to contemplate the idea that he's actually a serial killer who's conned her for the entirety of their relationship of fourteen years; that the perfect life was, in fact, a lie.  

However, since this is written and billed as romance melodrama, this horror is short-lived. As the story progresses through increasingly improbable, violent and sometimes downright hilarious twists and turns, we grow closer to the (inevitable) happy ending. Baek Hee Seung/ Do Hyun Soo is no killer, just a traumatized child with a horrific past. The lies are the result of psychological damage inflicted by a society that unfairly deemed him a monster; the cage of repressed emotions that he'd locked himself in needed only the unshakeable conviction of Cha Ji Won's love to be broken open. "I wish you could see yourself as I see you" she tells him, in one of the show's endless supply of tearfully emotional moments, "I wish you could understand yourself the way I understand you."

This framework continues right to the end, when a bout of short term amnesia (!!) has Do Hyun Soo questioning himself and her: do you know, he asks her, when I'm lying to you, and when I'm not, because I don't.  The show answers that almost immediately- it doesn't matter, because it's her vision of him that he wants to be; in other words, he chooses the version of himself that she wants. The horror of the lie was a red herring, Cha Ji Won was right from the start about her husband- all it took was the power of her love and her perseverance to overcome the lie at the heart of her marriage,  to restore it to its previous shape- quite literally. The dream house they built together, which was destroyed by the villain, is shown in the last shots as unchanged from how it was in the beginning. One of the last shots we have of the couple is of them kissing in the artisan husband's workshop, an almost perfect recreation of the first time we see them. Paradise Regained, and all of us- and Cha Ji Won- can breathe a sigh of relief. You, the twenty-first century woman, are the architect of your own fantasy and can have it all. What could be more powerful than that?

 In Kim Ji Young, Born 1982 , a novel published in 2016, and often credited with kickstarting a new conversation about feminism in South Korea, the eponymous protagonist's story is also one of perseverance. It's a starkly written tale, an everywoman tale, a dryly narrated fact finding mission report complete with citations and references, about a woman born in the late twentieth century into a rigidly patriarchal culture, whose very existence is an aberration- her parents didn’t opt for a sex-selective abortion unlike many of their contemporaries when they found that their second child would also be a girl. Kim Ji Young, like the rest of us, grows up immersed in a misogynist culture. Even before she understands it, she learns to work around it and through it, rationalizing the micro-aggressions, burying the anger at the casual and institutional sexism that permeates her life, compromising and coping with it all, and achieving some semblance of having it all: a job, a decent, loving husband, a child. However, it's when motherhood arrives that it all falls apart- Kim Ji Young, faced with the exhausting carework of having a baby at home and another regular, full time job, does what so many women in her position do- quits her "outside" job for her parenting one. Fighting exhaustion and depression, a casually cruel and misogynist remark from a stranger in a park proves to be the proverbial final straw; Kim Ji Young suffers a mental breakdown, dissociating herself completely from her own life, and "seamlessly, flawlessly" taking on the personalities of other women she's known- her mother, her friend, her colleague. The novel ends with a narrative twist that's both horrifying and appropriate:  we learn that our narrator is actually her male psychiatrist. Kim Ji Young doesn't even get to be the voice of her own story; instead, it is told by a man cocooned in his own privilege, who displays the same paternalistic and misogynist behaviour that he correctly identified as the cause of her breakdown.

There is no escape here for Kim Ji Young save that of a complete break from reality. In the light of the narrative that leads her to that point, it feels both inevitable and even more horrifically, a blessing. This is a horror story told as it is shorn of any hope; the ending is death or insanity.

Reading Kim Ji Young, Born 1982 was to confront the familiar and heart-breaking and horrific neatly distilled into 200 odd pages; it's "fiction", but not really. My only surprise was how similar the culture described there was to my own in specifics; how incidents in Kim Ji Young's life were things I had actually experienced myself or seen other women experience, in a country several thousand miles away.

I read this novel just after watching the 2019's Search WWW, a show with a bit of a cult following, I think. Before I started watching it, one friend assured me that I would love it, that it was made for me; another said that  she dropped it because it "rang false" to her at the time. I've seen the show described several times as a feminist power fantasy, sometimes, if the reviewer wanted to demean it, with the qualifier, unrealistic.

This seemed an odd sort of criticism to me- after all, who turns to k-drama romances or really, any romance, for realism? Female wish fulfilment, which is the cornerstone of romance as a genre, whether in books or film, is still written and recognized as fantasy. So what was particularly unreal about Search WWW?

Well, simply put, it is written like the patriarchy doesn't matter, and has never existed.

The three female protagonists are all in their thirties, in powerful positions in their careers. As such, they are constantly walking into meetings where women speak more than 33% of the time. There are men in the room, but they never outnumber the women, and they don't silence the women.

The interests and decisions and choices  of women in the show- even the lead antagonist, who is an older woman whom we often see casually making beefy young men pose nude for her paintings- matter, not just to domestic and private realms, but to society at large; the antagonist is a power broker whose reach goes right up to the highest echelons of the country's politics; the younger women's ethical choices directly affect the republic's functioning as a democracy.

What about the men? It's not that they've been ignored; it's just that their place in the narrative has been decentered. Do with that what you will, the writer seems to say, as she writes in speaking roles for women wherever possible—every second side character is a woman— I have no time or inclination to justify that choice.

As for romance- it's not just that two of the three romances fall into the "noona romance" category, which is subversive in itself. It's that the power of decision making in these relationships clearly rests with the women.

In the "main" romance track, in a reversal of the usual trope, the woman is the one who is emotionally unavailable, and whom the man has to convince to take a chance on their relationship. What was hugely refreshing was that the reason for her emotional unavailability isn't trauma, that the man has to help her heal from, unlike the gender reversed versions we often see, eg in Flower of Evil. Instead, it's a difference in perspective that has its roots in the years of experience she has compared to him; it's the difference in life perspective of a twenty something man, and an almost-40 woman. She considers the implications and possibilities of entering into a relationship with a man who wants marriage and kids, while she doesn't want either and is unlikely to want them in the future. She thinks through it, and sees the pitfalls of it, perhaps all too clearly. In the end, when she makes a decision to commit, it's with the understanding that she's choosing to live in the moment, that he makes her happy; that they make each other happy and it is worth something, even if it doesn't last.  But both of them understand that her happiness is not centered in him or their relationship being successful. The other two romances end on a similarly open note- the possibility of love with the man you just divorced, but there's no hurry to get there; and a long distance relationship that may or may not last the two years of military conscription the man has to undergo.

The happily ever after in this series is not the perfect heterosexual family unit; it was always going to be the complicated, thorny and intense queerplatonic relationship between the three women, who, in the end, literally drive off along an endless open road under a blue, blue sky, to "a place with no red lights", as one of them describes it.

For a week after watching Search WWW, I wandered around in a daze. How did this show get written, I kept asking myself? How did it get produced? Aired??? What magic was worked to put it in my eyeballs, and how can it keep happening?

That feeling intensified when I read Kim Ji Young, Born 1982. But the book also provided the answer, at least to the first question. Because it is Kim Ji Young's voice in Search WWW. This is the fantasy that Kim Ji Young would have wanted to live in; a society and a life where she's seen as a person, entire, and it's not something she has to fight every day for. The gigantic leap of imagination that the writer of Search WWW took was only because that fantasy has been yearned for, in a way only a person growing up in Kim Ji Young's world- our world- could.

"Flower of Evil"- and other dramas like it— are also, undeniably, products of this world. It's unsurprising to me that in many ways, Cha Ji Won's little fantasy domestic world in Flower of Evil, on the surface, looks exactly like a post-feminist world. If the real revolution is men doing housework and childcare, then that fantasy has already been achieved on the individual level for Cha Ji Won. Sure, she's the only female member on her squad, and maybe the entire police force, for all you see women in her workplace. Sure, the other female characters with speaking roles exist mostly to be tortured for manpain by the narrative or literally by men as part of the plot. She seems to have no friends outside of work, which means that all her friends are men. As for relationships with other women, except her mother, who exists mostly to share the burden of childcare, and her mom-in- law who turns out to be an evil sort herself, there are none. When she meets her sister-in-law, the entire scene gives off a strange catfight vibe- her sister in law is the only other woman who can legitimately be said to have a claim on knowing the real Do Hyun Soo, and Cha Ji Won's reaction is to deny that claim and tell her to buzz off, basically. "I'm his family now" she tells her sister in law, "He has a wife"; firmly establishing the primacy of a heterosexual romantic relationship over all others.

Her "dream" job means nothing much despite the work she has put in to get it; for most part of the narrative she ends up betraying every professional ethic and her squad- her only friends. Of course, she is easily forgiven for it, without doing any of the work to earn that forgiveness, but that's really because who has the narrative time to develop those relationships which do not matter, like her work, which is shown up for the narrative prop it is, just like her daughter?  Even her sociopath (but not really, poor baby) husband ends the series with a tentative sort of friendship with a person he's not married to, but not Cha Ji Won, whose entire world by the end of the series has narrowed down to the four walls of her perfect little house and her perfectly-rescued husband. "I can't be happy if he's not happy," she tells her mother, who suggests that maybe it's time she let go of her not-so-perfect husband. "So please accept him."

In the end, the fantasy is based on this : self-improvement as the winning strategy, not structural change. Try hard enough and you'll get what you want. In the fine print, easily ignored: as long as what you want falls within the bounds of heteronormative patriarchal standards. It's an attitude that is passed down to the next generation; Cha Ji Won's early conversation with her daughter is an example.

The writer's vision is clear- what could have been an interesting and intimate look at our deepest fears in a relationship- that the other person will see us for who we are and horror-struck, leave; or even a deconstruction of the heterosexual woman's fantasy of The Perfect Man, is instead a tired repetition of the Beauty-and-the-Beast trope. You can dress it up and put a gun-toting, career woman wig on it, but that disguise falls apart pretty quickly. Cha Ji Won openly states not once, but several times, that she would rather live the comfortable lie; it's only when even that isn't an option- and not because of her choice or agency, but circumstances and the man coming to a decision, that she begins to let go. But only for a little while- barely ten minutes in show time- because ultimately, this is a female wish fulfilment fantasy, isn't it? Her longsuffering perseverance is rewarded when he decides to mould himself to her fantasy version of him, and the past is erased, and time reset, complete with soft lighting and soaring soundtrack.

Some love stories are horror stories, but others are horror stories masquerading as love stories. Why are we so often sold the latter, and so accepting of the narrative gaslighting? When I look at the popularity of Search WWW vs Flower of Evil, I feel bitter despair and quite a lot of anger. Why do so many women- and it is women, who are producing this work, for women, primarily (I mean, romance, as a genre)- settle for so little? It's the twenty first century, I think, why are we still here, I rage, gnashing my teeth, and indulging in the vicious satisfaction of giving Flower of Evil a single star rating that will make not a dent in its popularity. If we can't demand and aspire to a better class of fantasy, what hope do we have? As you dream, so you will do.

I often think that these days feminism is made toothless because we're shaping it into something that will validate every little feeling of ours;  we don't want to be made uncomfortable by it. But feminism is not meant to make anyone comfortable; interrogating your own desires and pleasures is as much a part of smashing the patriarchy as fighting for fundamental human rights like bodily autonomy.

I guess, in the end, what I want to say is this: for the love of sanity, dream better.

[scariusaquarius]

en'ca minne.

Geralt of Rivia & Child! Reader

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A/n: so, of course my first fic with Geralt is with a child! reader because Geralt and children make me swoon <3 I hope you guys like this. Idk where i’m going with this fic, so any ideas and suggestions are good!

The title is ‘Little love’ in elder speech <3

Chapter One (Here) | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight (Soon)

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Genre: Angst, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Horror Rated: General Warning: Canon-typical Violence, Abandonment, Suspense,  Blood, Gore, Blood and Gore, Graphic Depictions of Rotting Corpses/Animals, 

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Author: dabisburntnut

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The province of Velen could only be described as one thing: shit.

As Geralt rode Roach through the countryside, the stench of rotting, burnt flesh, old blood, and the stench of rotting earth hung in the air. Hanged skeletons were everywhere, swaying gently in the wind as it blew, and Geralt almost cursed his sense of smell. It was one of the reasons why he hated coming to Velen.

There was no area in Velen where it didn’t stink of death.

As Geralt rode through, he shook his head slightly. There was no point in dwelling on the tragedies that had swept through Velen because of the war. After all, he was just a witcher; a monster hunter. What could he do? With a sigh, Geralt urged Roach faster, planning on getting to Crow’s Perch as fast as he could if only to get out of the clouds of stench wafting into his sensitive nose.

The smell of war always made his stomach churn, even if just for a second.

As he rode closer to Crow’s Perch, passing into the Mire, Geralt made a stop in Oreton. Tying Roach up, Geralt almost rolled his eyes as the people began their usual whispers.

‘What’s that freak doing here?’

‘Look, a witcher…must be monsters nearby.’

All the same meaningless words. Honestly, Geralt was so used to the whispers that they became just that: whispers. As Geralt looked into his saddlebags, he noticed he was out of some potions and oils, and decided to approach the merchant at his stall. As he did so, the merchant’s eyes lit up, and he waved him over.

“Witcher, what a welcoming sight!”

Geralt was taken back from the words of the merchant.

“First time hearing that. I take it you have something to ask of me.”

The merchant gave an apologetic look.

“I…well, yes…but if ye do this for me, I’ll make sure to give ye the best discount ye can find in Velen…maybe even free things that aren’t, well, in high demand.”

Geralt crossed his arms. The more crowns that he saved, the better...

“Alright, I’ll bite. What do you want?”

The merchant looked relieved before explaining to Geralt, shaking his head nervously.

“Well, I had a close friend that was supposed to be coming to Oreton from Crow’s Perch. We often trade items…makes business easier when we know what is and isn’t in demand for the towns. It’s been days since I’ve seen them…and Hrothgar is never late. Always the punctual merchant, as we all must be.”

Geralt raised his brow a bit, saying to the merchant and waving his hand a bit.

“He could have been attacked by bandits. Unfortunately happens a lot.”

The merchant shook his head.

“Aye, but this is a most worrisome case for Hrothgar was bringing his wife and wee lass with him.”

Okay, so a family possibly killed by bandits. It wasn’t exactly the worst job Geralt could take, but wasn’t the best either. Unfortunately, families were killed all the time while on the road. It was the way things were during war and even during times of peace.

The merchant could tell that Geralt was teetering on the edge of refusing the job, and he pleaded, clasping his hands together.

“Please, witcher. Ye not do much but look for them in the least? I’ll….I’ll pay ye if that’s what yer wanting.”

Geralt sighed lightly, taking the bait and nodding.

“Fine, I’ll look for them. You said they come from Crow’s Perch, right?”

“Aye, but they’re more of a travelling band. Crow’s Perch is just where they usually go. Bloody Baron makes good coin off their goods when they’re passin.”

Geralt nodded before saying.

“Alright. I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t promise you they’ll be alive.”

The merchant looked saddened, but replied all the same.

“That’s alright…just as long as I know what’s become of Hrothgar and his family.”

Geralt nodded before bidding the merchant adieu, climbing up onto Roach and beginning on his way towards Crow’s Perch. He supposed that he could wait to buy the ingredients he needed for his potions and oils when the job was done.

After a while, Geralt could see what looked like the remains of a merchant’s cart, and as he got closer, he could see the bodies of two people. Jumping off of Roach, Geralt sighed. Inspecting the male’s body, Geralt began to investigate.

“These bodies have been dead for days…male and female…both seem to have died from stab wounds. Gotta be them.”

Geralt’s brow furrowed, however, when he remembered the merchant stated that Hrothgar would be traveling with two other companions. Here, it was just him and a woman.

Where was the child?

Geralt muttered to himself, tapping into his senses to get a better look around the cart.

“I should take a better look around…can’t be too far.”

Looking at the cart, Geralt hummed. This was a horse-drawn cart, but no horse and no child…was it possible the bandits nabbed them both? As Geralt looked around, he spotted four sets of tracks.

“These are most likely the bandits…but no horse tracks.”

Then, Geralt caught sight of horse tracks running from the cart and into the woods. There were old blood spots as well, and taking a closer look, Geralt was able to confirm that it wasn’t the child but the horse that was wounded.

“Couldn’t have gotten too far…horse must have taken a beating while Hrothgar and his wife released the horse…kid must have been riding the horse at the time of the attack.”

Geralt climbed atop Roach, pulling the horse into a canter as he followed the tracks and old scent of blood. As he followed the trail, Geralt began to smell the stench of rotting flesh and felt a strange sense of dread fill him.

A small hut began to come into view, and Geralt frowned. There was the horse, rotting with large chunks taken out of the body. Geralt became alert, looking around to make sure there weren’t any monsters that might try to sneak up on him as he walked closer to the horse. Leaning down, Geralt hummed deeply.

“Horse hasn’t been dead for long…and these carvings weren’t done by monsters…meat’s been taken off cleanly.”

Definitely by human hands. Geralt frowned before looking at the hut, zoning in on the hut, and that’s when he heard breathing. It was shallow, almost sounding sickly, and Geralt silently walked his way to the entrance of the hut. 

When he approached inside, the hut seems as though it had been lived in quite recently. Whatever happened to the previous occupants, Geralt wasn’t really in the mood for finding out.

Geralt’s eyes immediately went to a girl lying in the dirty bed, shivering with her back to him. Her hair was dirty and matted, the smell of unwashed clothes and skin invading his sensitive nose, and Geralt could tell that she was sick. Her clothes were that of someone with a wealthy standing, most likely bought for her by her parents.

Rips and tears were in the once beautiful clothing, dirt and mud caked onto the material, and Geralt could see what remained of the horse meat that had been carved out of the horse, the meat rotten and unfit to eat.

‘She’s probably been starving here for a while,’ Geralt thought to himself. Now, how could he make his presence known without scaring the girl? Geralt swallowed thickly and knocked, announcing himself softly.

“Hey there.”

The girl’s heartbeat began to speed up in fear, and Geralt could hear her begin to sniffle. She hugged herself tighter, crying softly, and Geralt approached her carefully.

“It’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.”

The girl slowly looked back at him, her eyes bloodshot as she whispered.

“That’s what the bad men said to mommy and daddy before they hurt them.”

Geralt promised her, raising his hands.

“I promise that I’m not here to hurt you. In fact, I’m here to take you somewhere safe.”

The girl blinked at him, shaking visibly, and Geralt wondered if it was from the fear or the sickness. She became quiet, and Geralt asked her.

“What’s your name?”

“(Y/n)…what about you?”

Geralt smiled kindly at her to try to put her at ease, sitting down on the old bed beside (Y/n).

“My name is Geralt.”

[CHAPTER TWO]

Tagging: if you would like to be tagged in this work, please send me an ASK <3

[stxrrywildflower]

replacement

pairing - emily prentiss x reader

summary - you’re nervous around emily for more reasons than one

warning - angst with fluff

word count - ?

after emily has taken a position at interpol in london, strauss had assigned you to join the bau team.

it took a little bit for everyone to warm up to you, especially after getting emily back just to lose her again. but, the team soon grew to love you as one of their own. with no forseable transfers, you all bonded greatly and many traditions such as dinners at rossi’s and other events became more and more common.

on the team, you were closest with morgan with reid as a close second. you and morgan both had mutual interests and often went on morning runs together. the two of you became an unstoppable duo when chasing down unsubs. for you and reid, intelligence and reading were your common interests. oftentimes, the two of you could be found downtown at a local coffee shop or library.

walking into work one morning, you tossed your bag at your desk before following morgan over to get coffee. garcia met you both before taking a seat at the table. moments like these before either paperwork or a case were some of your favorite.

but alas, you couldn’t sit and drink your coffee while taking about workplace gossip forever. garcia returned to her own space while you and morgan sat down at your desks which were opposite of each other.

after completing many files of your own paperwork, morgan asked you to help him fill out something with the last case as you two were the most actively involved. you leaned over his desk with your back to the glass doors, resting one arm on the edge as you pointed out the details.

the room practically stopped. you felt eyes burning into the back of your skull as well as gazes on the front of the bullpen.

you stood back up as morgan turned his chair. your eyes widened slightly as you noticed strauss as well as none other then emily prentiss walking into the bullpen. morgan noticed your discomfort upon seeing the person you had replaced and stood up beside you.

the director and interpol agent began walking through the bullpen, obviously with the intent of going up to hotch’s office. however, they both stopped in front of you.

“agent y/n,” strauss greeted. you nodded respectfully as a response. “stay in the general vicinity, i’ll need to speak to you in a bit.” with that, strauss and press it’s headed up the stairs and to your boss’s office.

your mouth opened slightly as you began to internally panic. as the door to hotch’s office was closed, you immediately exited the bullpen, needing to calm down. morgan and reid shared a look before they too stood up and followed you out.

as soon as you entered garcia’s lair, she knew something was wrong. the technical anyalist spun around in her chair just in time to see you run your hand through your hair. morgan and reid entered and sat down on the couch just as you started pacing.

“alright what’s going on?” penelope asked. “prentiss is back,” derek revealed.

you groaned. “it’s not just that. she’s with strauss and they’re talking to hotch. most likely to replace me,” you spoke before the words could even process. your hands moved up to your mouth.

“oh my god she’s back to replace me. i mean why else would she be back? i’m going to be transfered. oh my god,” you ranted feeling extremely overwhelmed.

penelope shot the two men a look before standing up. “hey hey, you are not going to be replaced, we won’t let it happen. yes, we do love emily but there is no way in hell she is going to take you without a fight,” garcia spoke, placing her hands on your shoulder.

you pressed your lips and nodded as you moved your hands up to rest on her wrists. a knock on the door broke the four of you out of your slight conversation. j.j. opened the door, “hey, strauss needs to see you.”

with a final smile to the group, which they returned, you followed your fellow profiler out of the room and back into the bullpen.

after you knocked on hotch’s office door, you opened it and walked in. hotch was sitting at his desk while strauss was in the chair opposite of him. emily, however, was standing against a window.

“welcome agent y/n, please take a seat,” strauss greeted.

you held your hand up slightly as to say you were okay. after situating yourself so you were leaning against one of the shelves, strauss finally spoke up.

“agent prentiss has recently expressed her interest in reinstating with this unit. obviously, you were the profiler we brought in to replace her,” strauss started. you swallowed nervously, scared about where this conversation was about to go. “however, your performance with the team has been more than satisfactory. so, agent prentiss will be rejoining this unit and you will remain in your current position.

a slight wave of relief flooded over you. “seven agents on one team? isn’t that uncommon, especially for our division?” you asked.

strauss nodded. “yes it is. but we feel as though adding another agent would be nothing but beneficial for your team, especially with the amount of traveling you all do.”

“with all due respect ma’am, it is nice that a former agent is returning but why am i in this meeting?” you questioned. “well, agent hotchner and i suspect that there may be some tension between the two of you. it is complete understandable as y/n you may feel slightly threatened by agent prentiss’s return and vice versa.”

you had to admit, strauss was right. “which is why for the next week, pending on if we have a case, you two need to spend minimum of an hour and a half to two hours together,” this time hotch spoke.

both you and emily scoffed. “isn’t that almost childlike?” emily asked. you agreed, it felt like two parents desperately trying to make their kids become friends.

“this team needs to function as one. now head out, i’ll let you know if we get a case,” hotch added.

with one final nod to strauss, you exited the office, emily right behind you. “i’ll go grab my bag and then we can head out. are you up for coffee?” emily asked. you nodded, “coffee sound great.”

morgan noticed your stressed expression as you stood at your desk and let at a sigh. the older agent didn’t say anything but instead got up and pulled you into a hug.

emily returned only moments later, stopping a few steps behind as she noticed the platonic moment between you and morgan. once pulling away, you too grabbed you’re bag.

“ready to go?” emily asked.

you nodded before following her out. the two of you took your car, finding street parking rather quickly and deciding to walk the next couple blocks instead. very few words were exchanged as the two of you walked.

once arriving at the cafe, you held open the door with warm smile on your face. emily thanked you and stepped inside. the cafe was pretty much empty, just the workers behind the counter and a few college students scattered at different tables.

after you both ordered, you and emily slid into one of the booths in the corner. honestly, neither were sure how to start a conversation. however, emily soon found a interesting topic to bring up.

“so you and derek,” she started. you did everything in your power to not burst out laughing but a giggle slipped through. a bright blush formed on your cheeks as you noticed emily’s amused smile.

“never in a million years. we’re just friends. besides, i don’t play for his team,” you commented.

emily opened her mouth to respond but was cut off when a waiter brought over your drinks. “thank you,” you spoke.

as the two of you drank your coffee, a conversation was held. sure, it was still slightly awkaward as emily still intimated you an insane amount. by the end, you two had returned to quantico, happy with your first outing.

____

for the next week or so, you and emily continued to spend your usual time together as per the orders of hotch.

most of the time it was going out to lunch since emily was still apartment hunting for her official move back to washington d.c. however, on the last day of your mandatory hangouts, you invited her over to your apartment for dinner.

you felt more comfortable around your fellow profiler to the extent of developing a slight crush. you found out through garcia that, in her own words, emily was in fact a ‘raging lesbian.’

just when you thought everything was going well with the team, a comment you overheard in the break room immediately crushed every positive feeling you had. it was totally accidental and you knew it was just speculation.

“you really think they’re going to allow aaron hotchner’s team to keep all their agents?”

“absolutely not. they would definitely transfer y/n to get back prentiss for good. especially after the whole doyle thing.”

“true. i’m sure strauss will say something soon.”

“of course.”

sure, strauss had promised that there would be no more transfers with emily’s return but something about the way the two men spoke didn’t make you so sure. naturally, once taking note of it, emily decided to confront you.

after arriving to your apartment, you didn’t even bother taking your shoes off and instead tossed your bag down before taking your hair out of the style you did for work.

emily did the same before turning to you. “what’s going on with you recently?” you stopped at the sudden interrogation. emily was persistent and took a step towards you. in return, you stepped back, stopping when you hit the wall. your fellow profiler followed until she was just a foot or so away.

“why are you so afraid of me y/n?” emily asked, her breath hot on your skin. just the way she pronounced your name made butterflies form in your stomach.

“i’m not,” you protested, internally cursing when your voice wavered slightly. “i’ve only known you for a week.”

the woman smirked, making your heart flutter, “something tells me it’s more than that.” emily moved even closer, your bodies just inches away from each other. you kept your hands behind your back, pressed firmly against the wall.

with every ounce of adrenalin you had, you placed your hands firmly on her hips before flipping her around so she was now against the wall. emily let out a suprised gasp and moved her hands up to your cheeks. “what happened to only knowing me for a week?” she asked, a smirk on her face.

“i don’t even care,” you spoke before pressing your lips firmly to hers.

who knew that a crush you had just realized four days ago would turn into a full blown make out session against a wall. without pulling away, you and emily stumbled through your apartment before falling onto the couch.

emily was pretty much on top of you, grinning brightly as she pressed her forehead to yours. “god your gorgeous,” she complimented. you bit your lip before connecting your lips together once again.

just as emily had started to kiss your jawline, both of your phones went off. you groaned and threw your head back against the pillow.

“it was only a matter of time,” you groaned.

after placing one final kiss to your lips, emily climbed off of you, extending her hand to help you up. “are we going to tell them?”

you shook your head no. “i think we should have a little bit of fun,” you grinned before taking her hand in yours and exiting your apartment once again.

[joonluvv]

forever rain [1]

summary: to greek gods, it was a well-known fact that the fates liked to play tricks. but was this too far? what would happen when they made two unlikely gods have a tugging string in their hearts, yearning for each other?

pairing: hades!jin x persephone!reader

genre: angst / fluff / greek god! au / black swan! au

word count: 7.1k

warnings: isolation, slight manipulation

a/n: please check out the note about this series in my masterlist before reading! (this is the version where you’re shorter than the members) thanks for reading and i hope you enjoy :D

Another warm spring day, with the flowers blooming, birds chirping. An overall happy theme.

You despised it.

How could these people like the constant happiness, the constant smiling, the constant joy? As if everything was right in the world.

It wasn’t.

It hadn’t been in years. As a minor goddess, you weren’t roped into the specifics but, you knew that something was brewing up in Olympus. You couldn’t understand what yet but you knew something.

Your mother, Demeter, had not told you much but you had noticed her retiring in the early evenings to bed, only to overhear some whispers in her room in the dead of night. You knew who it was, who else could give her messages of what was happening up in the sky?

Hermes, the messenger of the gods.

He liked to call himself Jimin. You understood the desire to keep more human names, traits. You had especially liked the name Y/N, it rolled off your tongue and stuck.

Of course, your mother despised it. Just like everything else you did that did not include helping her. She had ‘discussed’ the matter with you once.

“You’re a goddess for Zeus sake! You should keep your powerful name, Persephone.”

You had rolled your eyes at the statement. Even Zeus had his own name, Namjoon. It fitted the god’s wisdom but not his intimate tendencies. You knew Jungkook, Hera, would be fuming whether or not Namjoon was looking at mortal women and men again, but just at the thought. You chuckled and rolled your eyes, you missed that. You missed your friends. You were so close with the gods in Olympus.

Only for your mother to pull you down to Earth to help the mortals survive.

It was a fruitless request, your presence was not needed. There wasn’t any weather changed except the warm sunshine to good rainfall every other day. Crops were thriving and the people were happy.

It was a paradise.

You were useless here.

Alas, you couldn’t disobey your mother, that would give more complications then you would ever want. Her gray eyes and sharp words would often cut through your measly requests of exploration. You didn’t ask for the secret of life, just if you could travel beyond the meadows and into the forest.

You tried to reason with yourself that she was just trying to protect you but sometimes it was stifling. Couldn’t she trust you for more than a few minutes?

You had covered up your curiosity by saying that you wanted to help protect the young men who cut wood in the night. You envied their positions, they had real families. Your mother had rolled her eyes and with a subtle way of words, she had made your request seem like the end of the world. She kept a finger under your chin, holding it up to her face. She pouted, and drawled out a familiar phrase.

“Why? You don’t like living with your mother? I know what’s best for you.”

You knew that something was wrong. Your mother was a bit strict, to put it lightly, but she had recently become even more controlling. It was as if she was running out of time and couldn’t bear the thought of you not being at her side.

Your relationship reminded you of a mortal folktale you had heard of. Nothing to do with gods like they usually were, but a different one. You forgot the name but you vividly remembered the story being told around a fire. It was about a girl with long, gold hair who was trapped in a tower by her conniving mother. The similarities were striking and you knew something was off. You never addressed it, scared that the mortals might get the brunt of your mother’s anger for a made-up story.

So you kept the story and the happy ending inside your mind and it beat in your heart. It was something yours and truly and only yours. It seemed like a treasure that you would never let go off. You liked how in the end, she was able to escape her prison and live an adventurous life. You envied her courage. Her bravery to leave what she knew behind to take the chance of finding something more. And even someone more.

You tried to keep these thoughts quiet, scared if it entered your mind, it would be on the tip of your tongue and your mother would steal it from you. Like your freedom.

Your morning thoughts were interrupted by Jimin’s wings flapping onto the balcony you had been looking out from. The balcony was made of a white marble and it was right outside your room. The room was spacious but not needed. You were a goddess, you didn’t need sleep or have any mortal belongings. But it was nice, in its own way.

Jimin’s light smile always brightened your mood, no matter the time or day. You looked at him as he descended but did not open your mouth, afraid of the response he might give to the question that had been plaguing you.

Maybe another day.

He landed next to you, his soft pink locks bouncing before the small white and gold flecked wings on his ankles disappeared in a bit of smoke.

He was wearing white robes with gold accents, he had a touch for style you knew had been inspired by Apollo, or as he called himself: Hoseok. The mortal depiction of Hermes was that he held a staff of two talking snakes and wore a helmet but a few eons ago, Jimin had rolled his eyes at the tradition and tossed both away. Obviously, he was reprimanded for this by Namjoon so he decided to compromise and just keep them hidden from view. However, if you concentrated, you could make out a gold shimmer in his hair where his helmet ought to be or hear two overlapping voices of the snakes on his staff.

“What do I owe to have the pleasure of seeing you, Jimin?” You asked, turning away from him to lean on the handrail of your balcony. Your hands had felt those rails so many times. It was rough and warm, just like everything in the mortal world.

You wanted to feel something different, something—

“You flatter me, and yourself. How did you know I’ve come to see you?” He smirked and teased.

You flicked your eyes back up at his, only to see them gazing back at you. His eyes swirled with a mix of brown and gold, showing his power. You didn’t yield down and continued to look at him. He sighed softly and looked out to the fields that the balcony overlooked. He brought an arm around your shoulders and slowly pulled you closer to him. You wrapped your arms around his torso and put your head on his chest.

“I miss you, Kore,” He murmured, tired of keeping up appearances, “we all do.”

You hummed in understanding, taking the chance to relish being in your friend’s arms. It wouldn’t have been bad to live in the mortal world, in basically a palace that mortals couldn’t see. With endless food and drinks to indulge. But you didn’t want any of that. You wanted your friends, the people you loved and cared about.

“We all miss our pretty bird. The one who would fly across Olympus because she heard some of us talking loudly. Her feathers glistening in the morning dew after racing Hobi and his chariot to bring the sunrise. Quarreling with Namjoon about little things or when Taehyung scolded you for drinking too much ambrosia. We miss you.”

“I know. I miss you all too.”

Your friends had called you pretty bird after your endearing qualities that you always expressed on Olympus. You would hear an uproar from one side of the throne room and you’d come dashing in to see what was the problem. Your selflessness and compassion had made many of the gods favor you. Even Jungkook, known for his coldness to other gods, had a soft spot for you.

And you used to be a cheeky brat when you were a few eons old. You’d steal ambrosia from Hebe, the goddess of youth. She’d be sleeping when you would find her golden cup, filled with the sweet of the gods. She’d scold you multiple times, but you’d have a smile on your face from tricking her. You were also the one who gave her a mortal name, Taehyung. You later realized it was more so used for males, but she laughed it off. Saying she liked the way it sounded and explained how gender norms were only a mortal concept and that she could embody a man. She did and you started to realize why she— or he rather, was the god of youth.

Jungkook would even side you when you disturbed Namjoon, saying that you were only a child. He would also laugh it off, patting you on the head, while Jungkook would only smile. You didn’t remember much of what your mother used to do. She would come every once in a while to check up on you, before leaving back to the mortal world. You didn’t mind her absence. Demeter was always the one scolding you the most. She’d punish you by saying that you weren’t allowed to leave a certain area until she deemed fit. Of course, during these times, your friends would help you out. The first time they did, you jumped so high that Jimin thought you had sprouted wings. That was the first time they called you pretty bird. You still felt like a pretty bird.

A pretty bird held in golden cage. But you realized that, though the bars might be golden, it was still a cage.

And a bird is meant to be free.

————————————————————

You were roaming around the meadows again, but not alone.

You could never be alone.

“Y/N, where are you going? Come back here and don’t wander off!” Your mother yelled from behind you.

In reality, you had barely been a few feet away from her. You turned your head back at her upset form and nodded in acknowledgment. There wasn’t much you could do but agree.

Though, while slowly walking back to your mother’s side, you looked at the meadow you were in. It was filled with vegetation: flowers, grass, fern, and other herbs. They weren’t all just green, but different shades of greens, browns, and a sprinkle of colors from the daisies or lavender planted there.

A swift breeze passed by you and your dress moved with it. Your hands went to the soft, cotton fabric of your plain, white chiton. Your mother hated the choice of clothing, saying that you shouldn’t conform to mortal standards as you were a goddess. You tried to understand but, it was a simple dress and the gods wore more or less the same thing. It must have been because you didn’t wear a laurel wreath on your head. You despised it, remembering how you loved hiding in cherry laurel when you were younger. There was no point in cutting off a few branches to identify yourself as god. The mortals couldn’t see you, only other gods could. It was useless.

Even in little things you tried to disobey your mother, such as shortening the chiton by a few inches at the bottom. It could help you run through the grass, if you could.

If she allowed it.

You stopped in your tracks to crouch down, holding your arms around your knees while balancing on the front of your feet. You looked in front of you at the baby’s breath in curiosity, it was such a lovely plant and you liked the simplicity. It had always been a favorite.

“I’m sorry for yelling, but it’s getting late and I don’t want you to wander off. Please stay close, okay?” Your mother asked, her true feelings surfacing for a brief second. She held your wrist and pulled you up.

Her fingers pinched your skin, but you didn’t cry out. She dragged you through the baby breath and your feet crushed the plant. Your mother kept walking for a few feet until stopping in front of a cluster of crops that were wilting, most likely from a disease. Your mother folded her arms while you rubbed your wrists to ease the pain. 

“Sorry Kore, I didn’t know I hurt you.”

“It’s fine.”

She looked at you worried, but you shrugged it off and sighed.

Closing your eyes, you tried to stay calm. Your mother wanted to test your powers again, afraid that your talks with Jimin or your curiosity was hindering it someway.

You opened your eyes and took a deep breath in. You felt your fingers tingle and you opened your palm out to the crops. In mere moments, the disease that effected the crops vanished, leaving healthier ones in its stead.

Your mother only hummed and stepped towards you. She stood in front of you and smiled. These were the moments you liked, when your mom was not being completely anxious and worried. Her smile reminded you about wilting flowers, beautifully sad. She took your hands into hers delicately, unlike the way she grabbed them earlier, and rubbed them. You liked the feeling but it was even better when she kissed the top of your head.

“I love you Persephone, I’m sorry if I have been anxious the past few days. It is not your fault. Don’t worry about it, okay?” Demeter gently said before letting go of your hands and walking away.

You liked this version of your mother. Sometimes during the later months of the year, her eyes would gloss over as if remembering something depressing. In those days, her voice and actions were strikingly different from the mother you loved. She would act as if she only cared about what you could do, it was very weird. You knew that wasn’t who your mother was but something made her want to protect and hone your powers. It wasn’t like someone was going to kidnap you, right? 

You sighed and changed your thoughts to something lighter. You wished for a chance to go back and look through all the herbs in the meadow. Mortals thought they had healing powers, and sometimes you laughed at the aspect of mortals. They had no powers, no way to heal themselves, no way to truly hurt each other, no way to protect themselves.

You wished you were human.

You sighed and your eyes flickered behind you, only to see something quite different from what you were expecting. You tilted your head in confusion and suddenly your eyes widened.

It was a forest.

Your eyebrows furrowed and you thought, When had that gotten there?

You were in doubt of what you’re were seeing until the image rippling like a reflection in water. You knew that magic. It was a covering, to stop others from seeing a forest. Your gasped softly in realization, the forest was a lot closer than you had originally thought.

Your freedom was a lot closer than you originally thought.

You took a few steps towards the image and it flickered again, showing the tall trees and darker green grass.

“Persephone? Is everything— what do you think you’re doing?” Your mother snapped from behind you. You turned around to see her steely gaze. You stuttered in a reply, but she only shook her head, repeating how naive you were.

“Do you know how dangerous these parts of the meadow are? Practically anything can happen! Let’s go home, Kore.”

Demeter had a faraway look in her eyes. She strolled over and was about to grab your hand again when another stopped your mother.

It was Jimin.

He smiled sweetly, looking at your mother. His eyes were in crescents but his hand blocked hers from reaching your hand. 

“What a pleasant surprise! Demeter, Y/N, how lovely to see you both.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and eyed Jimin up and down, suspicious of his intentions. Jimin only smiled back and merely glanced at you. He started to gently push your mother in the other direction while holding her forearm. She was shocked and tried to get out of his grip. However, he whispered a few words into her ears and the goddess stayed still. Jimin looked back at you and gave you a comforting smile.

“Why don’t you go along, Y/N? Your mother doesn’t mind anymore. Plus, someone has much to discuss with her.” Jimin stated, already waving and walking away with your mother.

You were astonished how fast everything had happened, but nonetheless would not allow this chance to slip away from you.

You looked behind you once more and took in a deep breath. Waving your hand again, the mirage disappeared and there stood dark pine trees, tall and ominous. You took one step forward, and then another. You kept doing this, slowly, as you were still wary of what might happen. You stopped when you reached the end of the meadow and the start of the forest. Your foot hung in the air, hesitating to step into the different landscape. You knew, once you ventured in, it would be even harder to come back.

You pushed your doubts to the back of your mind and stepped forward. The ground was damp and cold, making your eyebrows rise in astonishment. You looked down and saw dark, brown dirt with hints of moss. You smiled, you did it. You had finally explored out of the meadows, albeit it only being a step away. You gathered up the courage and kept walking through the forest, passing by trees and rocks.

You were blissfully strolling through the forest, your hands swinging from side to side, and a permanent grin on your lips. Before you could continue your journey, you heard a whisper. You turned your head back and forth, trying to pinpoint the origin of the sound but without luck. You tried to shrug off the sound, thinking it was your imagination. About to keep walking, you heard the voice again.

And it was picking up volume.

More joined in.

Your hands trembled and your eyes kept flickering between the tree trunks. You put a shaking foot back, only to hear the voices even louder. Your eyes widened from terror and without another doubt in your mind, you started to run in the direction you came from, only to realize that there was more trees. You didn’t see the meadow or your palace. You could only see more trees, as if the forest had tricked you.

You shook your head to try and rid of the disturbing thoughts. You didn’t know what would happen but you had to leave.

And fast.

You took a few more awkward steps forward, until you were running again. You didn’t stop when you heard the voices getting clearer. You didn’t stop when you tripped on a rock and stubbed your toe. However, the fatigue got to you, it was another human tendency you had to deal with while being in the current form you embodied.

You were out of breath and slowed down your pace. From a few feet away, you saw a cave. It was dark gray and looked like it would crumble at any second. Putting aside safety, your curiosity got the best of you and you continued into the cave. The cave was a lot larger than you had anticipated but you relished that you had some sort of shelter. You tried looking behind you to see the light from the entrance of the cave, only to be met with darkness.

Everything was dark.

You looked around to try and find some semblance of light. There was nothing. It was as if someone had dropped you into the middle of the void.

Maybe going out was a bad idea.

The thought of staying inside your palace, surrounded by white walls and plush bedding, felt like a dream. The sun shining through your balcony and the birds chirping.

Maybe mother was—

“What are you doing, Kore?”

You gasped and twirled around, only to find more darkness. You were scared and couldn’t pinpoint where the voice was coming from. You dug your nails into your sweaty palms to try and stop them from shaking, but it was no use. Your feet slid across the cold floor, littered with sharp rocks that pinched and scratched your supple skin. You winced, not understanding what was happening or who had called out your name.

You heard distant wailing and a growing rumble of voices from a far-off distance. You closed your eyes and put your arms around your ears. You fell to the floor, hunched, as if it would protect you from the scary reality. The noises, the rocks, the darkness, the voices, were all overwhelming your mind.

You shook you head, trying to deny the danger you might be in. You didn’t want to find yourself in such a situation, all you wanted was to explore. And you got that freedom, but for a price.

You made out the same voice midst the wailing, garbled and soft, as if you were underwater. It sounded closer to you now, you curled up further, trying to separate yourself. You hoped that whatever, or whoever it was, would leave you alone. Leave you alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.

Everything stopped as quickly as it started.

Your ears couldn’t pick up anything and it didn’t seem so loud anymore.

Maybe it’s gone? You thought, hopeful that you were alone once more and it was all a weird illusion.

You uncovered your eyes and lifted your head slightly to realize you were in the cave once more. On the floor in front of you, you could see your shadow, meaning a light was behind you.

You could go home.

You lifted your body instantly and turned around. You were about to step towards the entrance when you felt a presence behind you. You steadied your hands and tightened your limbs, ready to run away.

But you couldn’t, your curiosity didn’t allow it. You cursed it in your head.

You slowly moved your body to face behind you, only to be met with a male figure.

His black eyes pierced yours but the presence did not feel as threatening as it should have been. His hair looked light to the touch but you didn’t dare think about doing that. Slung around his neck was a small, black necklace, and attached was a singular black feather. He was wearing a black blouse, tucked into black pants. The dark outfit should have made it impossible to see him in the cave; however, there was a small glow around his body, a tell-tale sign of his power.

Your eyes rested on his collarbone and lowered to see that the first few buttons were unbuttoned. Your gaze lowered and you made out a strong chest, before blinking rapidly. Your cheeks flushed and you looked away, trying to calm your racing heart from seeing such a beautiful man in front of you.

But you had to stay focused, beautiful or not, he could be dangerous. Very dangerous. This man could lead you away from home, or worse.

Man? No a god, definitely. No man could radiate such power and authority.

You heard footsteps and saw that he was now only a few steps away from you. At the same time, it seemed that the light behind you darkened, seeming to be farther away. You didn’t pay attention to that fact, only looking up at the quiet figure’s face.

He was emotionless but his eyes swirled with a purple hint. They were looking back at you without faltering. He slowly reached a hand out in front of you. You stared at the hand, it looked rough and you thought how it would encompass your own. You looked up again, to see his expression unchanged. You looked back at the hand and reached out for it instinctively. Something took over your mind and body and now all you wanted was to hold his hand.

Your fingers touched his rough skin, until they were intertwined. The man tightened his grip on your hand but it didn’t hurt. It was gentle and felt protective almost.

Like a friend.

The feeling of his fingers caused your heartbeat to quicken.

A sudden wind blew through the opening of the cave and you turned to face the dimmed light, squinting at the outside world. Three familiar, overlapping voices whispered into your ears. You could only make out a few sentences.

..It is done…

When the maiden joins her hand with the bringer of death,

she entrusts him with her life and last breath

He must take her to his world

until he has learned

the ways of the gods and humans.

For there they will live together as lovers.

For the rest of their days.

It is done…It is done…

The voices echoed on and in a sudden, the light that was once there— vanished. Your eyes widened in confusion and when trying to move, you realized you were pushed to the ground by an invisible force.

Your knees buckled and hit the ground. You tried to get up, but it seemed that something anchored you down. Or as if your legs had fallen asleep. You shook your head and kept trying, even putting one of your hands down on the ground.

But it felt different.

You looked down to see that you weren’t on the ground at all, but rather in some type of vehicle, with a floor of purple velvet.

You were in a chariot.

You looked up to see that your hands were still intertwined with the man and his eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes set in front of him.

You didn’t know where he was taking you. You recalled the poem from the wind— no the fates, telling a story.

It was your future.

You knew you couldn’t escape what they said. The fates decided everything and it was futile to try and go against it. You knew that those three women were smart enough to know what is right. You’d have to trust them, even if it would be your worst nightmare.

You closed your eyes, but a few tears slipped out. You tugged on your arm once again, to find it still held by the man. His grip was harsher than your mothers’ or any you had felt, but not too restricted. You wanted to leave, you wanted to go home. You didn’t want this.

All you wanted was freedom, but this was another cage. You hoped that this had softer bars than the last. But it didn’t matter.

You weren’t free.

————————————————————

You woke up to the chariot stopping and the man pulling you up by your arms from where you were sitting. Your legs were shaky and still asleep due to the position you had fallen down in.

When you were finally up and didn’t fall down, the mysterious man clasped his hand around/in yours to support you and guided you away from the chariot.

His hand was rough and encompassed your own. It didn’t feel like your mother’s soft, long fingers or Jimin’s tiny, plump hand. It was different and his hand was freezing.

The entire environment was freezing and you started getting goosebumps over your arms, making you start to regret the choice of clothing.

You finally had a minute to look around since he was walking so slow. You realized that his chariot was drawn by these gray horses. They looked like they were shrouded in mist and you could see their forms flicker. It looked like the same magic that hid the forest from you. One of the horses turned to you and it’s eyes made you uncomfortable. They were pure white. They stared at you and you quickly looked away.

You turned around to look where the man was dragging you and saw that you were approaching a palace of sorts. It was made out of black obsidian and marble, with a bronze door. The palace seemed like it would crumble any minute with how old it looked but, it held strong. It was massive, you quickly realized after being in front of it.

You walked up the steps, your hand still held by the man. You looked up at the building, only for you to lose your footing and start to fall backwards.

You yelped out and tried to hold onto the man’s hand when he quickly turned around and tugged you into his sturdy chest. It all happened in a few seconds.

You clung onto his blouse, afraid of falling down the stairs again while your hands were shaking.

He wrapped his arms around your body to keep you from moving back. The momentum made him sway backwards and so his hands held your waist tighter. He regained his balance quickly but didn’t lessen his grip on you.

You eyes stay rooted to the feather on his neck and didn’t dare look up. You knew if you did, you’d be barely inches away from his face. You felt his eyes on you and you couldn’t help but shiver.

You felt awkward and uncomfortable, and embarrassed for some reason. You tried letting go of his blouse after calming down. At first, the man held on tighter and you became stiff. But soon after, he slowly let go of your waist, letting you adjust yourself to the small step you both were standing on.

You rose your head to his and saw that he was still staring at you. You turned around quickly and head up the remaining stairs while trying not to look back, scared of embarrassing yourself even more. At the top of the stairs was the bronze double doors, at least four times your height and as twice as wide as the doors to your palace back home.

To say the least, it was huge.

There was no door handle to turn or pull so you stood there waiting for the man to come up. You didn’t want to look back, still afraid you’d be speechless again or it would just be awkward, so you tried finding something to distract yourself with.

The man was only a few steps behind you and walked up to your right side. You felt his gaze on you but you didn’t look back. You kept your head up and kept looking at the intricate swirls in the marble of the palace. When you felt his vision shift away, you looked to see his eyes trained on the doors and his arm reached out. He placed his palm on the door and murmured a few words you didn’t catch.

“W-what?” You asked, unaware of what he was saying.

He sighed and repeated his words a little louder, “..Give me your hand.”

His voice was soft and steady. He talked with a type of elegance you hadn’t heard before. He didn’t ask for it nor demand it, but his tone didn’t leave room for questioning. Most people back home were either too cocky and brash, getting angry quickly.

You blinked a few times and decided that it would be safe enough to place your hand in his. You slowly reached out and held his free hand with yours. You stood there, confused and furrowed your eyebrows.

You felt connected to the man and electric buzz moved through your body and into his where you where intertwined. You heard a small and similar buzzing sound in the door and it felt like it was pulling you.

Your eyes widened and you let out a tiny gasp and placed your other hand parallel to his on the door. The door and the two of you were now connected.

You felt a bond to the man that you couldn’t quite describe. It felt almost like a string in your heart, tugging the tiniest bit in his direction.

You closed your eyes as you felt a part of your godly energy being ignited in your being. A slow wind blew and repeated a message into your ears.

..It is done…It is done…

The door creaked loudly and opened, making you and the man put your hands back to your sides. The man stayed silent as the door opened to its full extent. Once open, he walked through the door and went inside.

The string got tighter.

You looked back down the stairs and saw the chariot. You couldn’t see much else past that as there was a thick fog blocking your vision. Deciding that it would be better to follow him, you walked through the doors.

In the hallway, it was lit by torches on the wall and so you could barely see the outline of the man in front of you. But you could feel the string inside on your chest, pulling you towards his shadowy figure.

He turned left. You quickened your pace.

You walked for a few more minutes before you reached a smaller white door. Avoiding your gaze, he pushed the door open and walked inside. You followed him to see you were in the middle of a bedroom. Everything was black and the two lanterns in the room didn’t even help illuminate the room. You stayed quiet, looking around and choosing to go sit on the large bed in the corner. You looked up to meet the man’s eyes.

They were still as striking as when you met him in the cave, but they seemed colder, if possible. The two of you didn’t stop staring at each other for a few minutes. You looked away first, too tired from the day’s things to care. You knew what your fate was now.

You were promised to the man in front of you.

You had heard stories about things like this when you were younger. How heroes were tricked into marrying nymphs or evil spirits leading them to their demise for the ‘gods to be happy’. You were a god. This didn’t exactly make you happy.

The man didn’t look like an evil spirit. And if he was, he would’ve killed you by now. You must’ve been promised to marry him. He hadn’t tried anything so you decided that maybe becoming friends would be the best option. You laid your hands on the bed and felt a pillow to your side. It was fluffed up and had a velvet covering. Your hand grabbed the pillow and placed it in your lap before looking up again.

While you were thinking, the man had left the room with the door closed. You realized that this man wouldn’t be with you and you were beyond grateful. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. You decided that maybe sleeping wouldn’t be a bad idea. It wasn’t that you needed to but it was the only thing you wanted to do at the moment.

You placed the pillow back where it was and rested your head on it. You plopped you’re feet on the bed and stretched out in a star shape. You closed your eyes and sighed.

A wind blew through the room again, despite there being no opening in the room. Your bare feet got goosebumps and you shivered. You curled up into a ball and hugged your knees to your chest. You hadn’t felt any blanket so this was the best option to stay warm.

You shut your eyes tighter, trying to fight off the cold and finally went to sleep.

_______________________________________________

Hades wanted to say something to you, but he was pulled away. His servant had called him in his mind and he had to rush out to see what the emergency was. It was a false alarm and Hades was more than furious. A calm god like him wasn’t supposed to show his true emotions and he prided himself on having a calm demeanor. But he was more so confused why he was so angry. It wasn’t an emergency and so nothing bad happened.

Why is there a tugging in my heart?

He shook his head and remembered what happened in the earlier moments of the day while walking back to his room. When he met you in the cave, his first thoughts were flooded by your own. For some reason, he could hear what you were thinking and even he was shocked. He knew how innocent you were but didn’t think that you didn’t recognize him.

He knew you.

Persephone, the goddess responsible of all things green and living in the human world. Also referred to as Kore by your loved ones. He knew about how you liked being called Y/N, like how he liked being called Jin. But that was it.

No one warned him that you were beautiful.

He had been in the presence of Aphrodite— Yoongi, and he strongly believed that Y/N could definitely rival the title: god of beauty. There was a certain aura about you that attracted Jin. You were curious and bold yet clumsy. You had tripped over air when walking up the stairs to the palace doors.

Jin’s hands went to his lightly blushing cheeks. He covered his mouth to hid the ends of his lips turning upwards. He remembered how he had tugged your soft hands towards him and your body hit his chest. Your hands had caught onto his blouse quickly and were gripping them tightly. He had also rocked back and had dug his fingers into your waist a little. He sighed softly and shut his eyes.

He hoped he hadn’t hurt you.

He didn’t want to hurt you. That wasn’t what was supposed to happen. He knew the two of you were promised to each other for some odd reason. The fates liked to play tricks on humans, but even gods? Jin liked to think it was immature, he knew that the two of you wouldn’t fall in love but he did want to be on good terms with you, maybe even friends. Hurting you in one of the first few moments you met was not the plan.

He opened his eyes and looked down to his opened hands. To anyone else, it looked like regular human hands. But what Jin saw was very different. And he hated what he saw.

He saw blood.

His hands were soaked in red and he couldn’t remove that scarring image no matter how much he washed it, rubbed it, or even poured ambrosia over it. It would always be in his memory and what he saw when he looked at his hands. He was the god of the Underworld, he took care of those who had died, both saints and sinners. He had to join Thanatos to wars and famines since the amount that died where higher. Or when a certain person deserved his presence when dying, for good and bad reasons.

With that on his conscience, how could he live without the thought of the dead?

Jin clenched his hand into a fist and closed his eyes, frustrated at the world and everything. He took a deep breath in and relaxed his hands to his side. He opened his eyes again and looked forward.

He knew it was futile to think more but he thought that the addition of you would make his life change. For the better. He knew it was dumb but he had hope. Even if that hope had become the size of a needle from a pillar.

He started walking again to his room, thinking about what you were doing. He should try and find something for you to do. His palace wasn’t at all like the white palace in the bright human world. His palace was black, black, and more black with very minimal lighting. He was sure that it was a huge shock to you.  

He moved quicker through the winding hallways to his room and stopped mid-step into opening the door before thinking twice. He didn’t want to intrude incase you were doing something private. He sighed again and decided on knocking first.

Who would’ve guessed?

The infamous Hades, king of the Underworld and god of the dead, was knocking to enter his own room in his palace. No one, no one would’ve guessed that or even thought of it happening.

He knocked twice. No response.

He knocked again, albeit a little louder this time. No response.

He decided that it would be okay to open the door so he entered the room. He slowly poked his head inside, only to find you curled up in a ball on his bed.

On his bed.

Jin’s ears reddened from embarrassment and shyness. He quickly pat them down to try and alleviate the heat.

Jin shook his head to stop the emotions and thoughts coming into his mind and focused on your shaking form. He realized that the temperature in his world compared to the human world would’ve also been different.

He moved to the side of the bed in front of you and stared at your small form. You were shaking like a leaf, goosebumps on your forearms and legs. He was thinking of what to do when he heard a small noise from you. You had whimpered from the cold and you’re teeth were chattering.

In an instant, he brought his hand to his shoulder and clenched his fist, looking like he had grabbed onto air.

The ‘air’ he grabbed materialized into his huge coat and he yanked it off his broad shoulders. He wrapped the warm material around your form and you stilled. Your teeth stopped chattering as much.

You hummed in relief and at the soft sound, Jin smiled for the first time in eons.

Once he realized this, Jin quickly put on a stoic expression again while trying to understand why his mind was riddled with thoughts of you. He couldn’t understand his behavior, he was never like this.

He was patting the make-shift blanket under your waist to make it snug when your hand found his fingers. He immediately stopped and felt your soft hand.

Your hand was quite cold but you held on tightly to his fingers. Jin sat on the edge of the bed.

He then trapped your hand in between his and blew lightly on it to warm it up. Jin then intertwined his hand into yours and decided to sit on the floor next to the bed. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or do something that you hadn’t allowed. He also tried not to think of anything else involving you.

He found a place on the floor and put his back to the bed rails and tightly gripped your hand. His thumb rolled over your knuckles in an effort of comfort and to warm it up. Jin’s hair was ruffled from the times he had run it through while on the chariot or coming back to the room due to stress but he messed it up even further.

He knew how many mortals and deities he had to bring to the Underworld and the other troubles that were happening in the human world and Olympus. If he didn’t leave now, he might face the wrath of Namjoon or Thanatos, neither of which would end well.

He decided to be selfish for once and indulge in the quiet moment. Your presence was having an effect on him already.

He wanted to stay with you.

The string in his heart pulled tighter.

© 2021 by cherryyjjk ;; all writings and other content on this blog are my intellectual property. you may not reuse, reprint, translate, repost, steal, or any other type of stealing of my works.

[katefiction]

A Royal Christmas Carol

by katefiction (Maria) / 2013

The voices of hundreds of feverish and excitable people rose and fell through the crowd. Occasionally, snippets of conversation could be heard like little balls bouncing up from the ground. ‘How much? Ten pounds?’, ‘Oh she’ll absolutely love that!’, ‘It looks yummy…I might just have to try one’.

Catherine Middleton’s voice was just one of them.

‘Brutwurst for the pretty lady?’ a vendor said, thrusting a long German sausage in her direction.  

‘Oh no thank you’ she replied politely.

‘Only two pounds for you’ he said, with a twinkle in his eye, his thick German accent adding extra charm, ‘it’s delicious!’

‘I’m sure, but I’ve just had some stollen and mulled wine from that stall over there’ she said pointing to one of the wooden huts that were lined neatly in a row.

‘Stolen my business!’ he said, throwing his arms theatrically in the air, followed by something in German that Kate presumed to be an expletive.

Kate giggled, pushing William along gently before they were convinced into buying any more food. They both already had a bag each filled with meats, gingerbread and fudge. 

It seemed to William that his new housemate wanted to stop at every stall possible at the Christmas Market that had landed in St Andrew’s that December day.

‘Oh that’s gorgeous!’ Kate enthused, looking at some blown glass baubles with a hand painted design.

William trudged on behind her, his feet sore from the walking and fingers numbing in the wintery air. He pondered for a second whether this was what having a proper girlfriend felt like. The constant pretence of being interested in the wooden toys, sparkling decorations and handmade crafts that Kate had insisted on showing him that afternoon. Not to mention always having to carry the heavier shopping bag.

Still, William might not mind all that much if Kate were his girlfriend.

‘What do you think Will? Should I get one for Mum?’ she said holding a bauble up to the last bit of daylight there was left.

‘Urm, yeh?’ he replied, looking over to his protection officers who blended into the crowd like two bored men waiting for their wives.

‘Oh I don’t know though, she might not like it. It’s one of those marmite things, you know, she’ll either love it or hate it’

William nodded, ‘how much is it?’

‘Twelve pounds’

‘For ONE bauble?!’ he exclaimed.

‘You’re paying for the quality and the craftsmanship’ she explained.

‘Extortionate’ he muttered so the vendor couldn’t hear him.

‘Oh don’t start that again’ she laughed putting the bauble down and walking away from the little wooden hut a little mournfully.

It was a fact well known that William Wales hated Christmas. He thought it a brazen excuse for companies to rip people off. Who says you should have a turkey, a tree, and a mound of brussel sprouts at the table? And why, oh why must Christmas songs be obligatory from November onwards?

As they walked back to their little home in Hope Street, Kate rattled off all the things she still needed to get for their house Christmas meal.

‘We still need crackers, and to decorate the tree, oh and I should fish out my snowman slippers!’

If William weren’t as enamoured with Kate as he was, he would find this irritating. But the plain fact was that just recently, he found nothing about Kate irritating.

The way she threw her hair behind her shoulders, sending a gentle waft of her shampoo scent in his direction. The manner in which she gently touched his arm when she was teasing him. He liked everything, every little thing.  

‘I think the snowman slippers are going a bit far’ he said drily.

‘Oh bah humbug!’ she retorted.

Just as he was about to tell her how her festive spirit was all a concoction of the media driven world, a small ball of energy, about knee height crashed into them.

‘Whoa’ Will shouted, almost dropping his bag.

‘Tim!!!’ screeched a high Scottish voice.

From around the corner leading up to Hope Street came a rather dishevelled looking woman. From a far, she looked like she could be fifty, with dark thin hair and bags under her eyes. As she grew closer, however, it was clear to William and Kate that she was thirty at the most.

‘Say sorry Tim!’ she shouted at the little boy, who was now peering into William’s carrier bag.

‘Sorry’ he said.

‘It’s fine’ Kate said kindly.

Tim, like his mother, was scrawny and tiny too for his ten years.

‘Righ’ come on’ Tim’s mother said, grabbing him and pulling him along the street.

‘But Ma, they’ve go’ a turkey!’ they heard him say, ‘you said  the shops were all out o’ turkeys!’

‘They must’ve gone somewhere fancy, we can’nae afford somewhere fancy’ she replied.

It was true, William and Kate had queued for half an hour for their turkey from a high end butchers in town.

‘But I want a turkey this Christmas!’ he moaned.

‘I said no! We’ll have ham’

Their voices were cut off when they entered one of the terraced houses on the street William and Kate were walking down.

‘I feel terrible now’ Kate said, looking down at their overflowing bags.

‘Don’t, if we hadn’t been preconditioned to associate turkeys with Christmas, that little boy wouldn’t know any different’

‘Do you ever get tired of being a Scrooge?’ she asked.

‘No’ he laughed.

‘What made you hate Christmas so much anyway?’ Kate said as they approached their house.

‘No reason’ William said. ‘I just do’

 Christmas Past

‘Where are you going!?’ she shrilled.

‘I told you, I have a meeting’ he responded calmly.

‘I don’t believe you’ she said defiantly.

‘Well that’s not my problem’

William stood behind the door, peeking through the crack at the two figures inside his father’s study. He couldn’t see much, just the odd shadow or a splash of blonde hair going back and forth.

‘I don’t want you to go!’ she continued.

‘I have to’

‘Please Charles…’

Sometimes the shadows would come closer and William would jump back quickly, scared to be found eavesdropping.

After a minute’s silence, the voice of his mother came again, but quietly this time. ‘I know where you’re really going’ she said at almost a whisper.

‘I am going to a meeting’ he said sternly.

‘Why must you lie? Why must you lie to me?’

William could hear the familiar closing of her throat, her voice becoming wobbly. He pressed his eye closer to the door crack.

‘William, what are you playing?’

William was almost thrown backwards by his heart jumping at the shock of his six year old brother’s voice behind him.

‘Shhhhhh’ he ordered quietly, turning around with his hands on his hips. ‘Go away’

‘Why?!’ Harry said at his normal volume.

‘I said shhh!, it’s grown-ups only’

‘You’re not a grown up’ Harry sulked.

‘I’m more of a grown up than you now push off’. He attempted to push his brother down the hallway, but he wouldn’t budge.

‘I’m gonna tell mummy and papa you were spying’ Harry said, poking his tongue out.

The voices inside the study began to raise once again, footsteps approaching the door.

‘It’s Christmas in two days Charles! Please think of the boys!’

The footsteps stopped briefly. ‘I must go, I’m sorry’.

Darkness covered the whole crack of the door and William sprang to action.

‘Go, move!’ he said, pushing Harry down the hallway and around a corner just as the door swung open. Neither Harry nor William dared peek to watch their father descending the stairs, but they heard him. Seconds later, their mother’s heels clicked on the hardwood and she shouted over the bannister.

‘I hope you’re happy! You’ve ruined Christmas! Ruined it!’

A door slammed. Then there was silence.

‘Go back to the playroom’ William told Harry as they released themselves from the soldier like stance against the wall.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’ll come in a minute’

‘And we can play spies again!?’ Harry brightened.

‘Yes, we can play spies’ he agreed.

Harry ran off, leaving William to tread carefully down the hall, purposely avoiding the creaky floorboards he knew so well. He went into the study and pulled a few tissues from the tissue box on his father’s desk and set off to find the familiar sound of sobbing.

It wasn’t long before he found it, at the end of the hall in the first floor bathroom.

‘Mummy?’ he said to the shut door. There was no response, just the harmony of sobs.

‘Mummy?’ he said again. She couldn’t hear him, so consumed by her sorrow as she was.

Deftly, William kneeled onto the floor and pushed each tissue under the door one by one. Then he waited, and waited and waited until finally she came out, mascara wiped from her cheeks, her smile back on her face, but the sparkle gone from her eyes.   

Christmas Present

William had never told anyone that it was that Christmas when he was eight years old that has ruined it for him for years to come. No-one need know how his parent glared at each other in stony silence over the turkey at the dinner table. They didn’t need to know how Charles had lavished gifts on the boys that year, only for Diana to say he was ‘trying to make up for something’ when she thought they weren’t listening.

He’d never enjoyed Christmas since that year, and after his mother passed, it seemed even more meaningless.

‘We’re home!’ Kate called to their housemates, as she brushed her boots onto the door mat.

Fergus bounded down the stairs, eager to lay his hands on the sweet treats they’d bought.

‘Don’t let him near them!’ Kate said immediately to William, ‘they’re for tomorrow’

‘What a taskmaster’ Fergus laughed. ‘Was she like this all day?’

William stared at Kate dopily but said nothing. Their hands had just touched when she took his bag off him and he was reeling from the after effects.

‘Helloooo?’ Fergus said. ‘Bit distracted are we?’

William frowned at his friend, but Kate was so caught up in her festive haze that she didn’t notice.

‘Can you two unpack this stuff? I need to put up the tree’ she called from the kitchen where she placed the shopping down. ‘But no snacking, Will I’m trusting you to keep him in check’

She flashed a wide grin at him, causing butterflies to flutter inside his stomach.

‘I’ll rugby tackle him if I have to’ he said.

After Kate had gone upstairs to relay the wonders of the Christmas Market to Olivia, Fergus set about interrogating William.

‘So did you talk to her?’ he said, inspecting a gingerbread man.

‘About what?’ he replied, his cheeks flushing.

Fergus sighed, ‘About you two, you should do it before Christmas’

‘There’s no rush’

‘Not if you’re not worried about her going home for a few weeks and kissing some loser from Bucklebury under the mistletoe’

William didn’t reply to this, focussing instead on a bottle of wine.

‘I’m just saying, you don’t wanna leave it too late, Kate’s a good one’

‘I know that’

William more than knew that. But beneath it all, he was shy and insecure and did he really want a steady girlfriend anyway? He tore open the gingerbread man to distract himself.

‘William!’ came Kate’s voice from the stairs as she spotted him eating the biscuit.

‘Sorry’ he smiled. ‘Couldn’t resist’

She tutted and rolled her eyes at him.

‘You keep telling me to get into the festive spirit, so I did!’ he teased and read from the label of the gingerbread, ‘“enjoy your Christmas with Gingerbread George” – see he told me to eat him’

Kate pulled it off him and snapped off the arm to taste ‘Gingerbread George knows that festive spirit isn’t about eating yourself silly’

‘You tell him Kate!’ Fergus chimed in. ‘It’s about drinking yourself silly too’

Kate scowled at Fergus playfully, ‘it’s about spending time with your loved ones and being thankful that you have them’

‘Isn’t that thanksgiving?’ William teased.

‘Yeh and Christmas is about Jesus?’ Fergus added.

‘You two are impossible!’ she huffed jokingly.

As Kate went over to the living area to decorate the tree, Fergus saw an opportunity to leave them alone, patting Will on the back and sprinting upstairs.

‘So what do you do on the actual day?’ Will asked, helping her to attach some baubles to the tree.

‘We usually go to church, and take a nice walk, play board games…oh and dad usually buys some kind of fancy dress outfit and turns up in it’

Will laughed at the thought of Mr Middleton in fancy dress.

‘Pretty similar to our family Christmas then, minus the fancy dress’ he said.

‘See, not so different, you and me’ she said with a nudge.

‘Apart from you actually like Christmas!’

‘I’ll make a convert of you yet, just you wait’

‘I doubt I’ll ever enjoy it’ he said, his mother’s dulled blue eyes suddenly popping into his head.

‘Maybe when you have kids you’ll change your mind’ she said placing the star at the top of the tree.

William scoffed, ‘doubt it’

Then would’ve been the perfect time to talk to her about how he felt. Surely that little nudge was a sign?

Kate looked at him expectantly, like she was waiting for him to say something. But his thoughts had been clouded by memories of Christmas’ past, the stale feeling it gave him, the one he thought he’d never get over.

‘No, Christmas is about money and pretending to like people you wouldn’t talk to any other time of the year’

Kate shook her head; clearly her patience with William’s attitude was waning.

‘Well I’ll enjoy it regardless’ she said plainly, getting up and heading upstairs again.

Will cursed himself; he’d just missed his chance.

 Christmases Yet To Come  

That night, he slept fitfully, images of Kate and Gingerbread George floating in his mind. He had probably eaten too much of it, he thought as he drifted uncomfortably from reality to dream.

He found himself standing in a large living room, a sparkling tree in the corner, a cream sofa covered in thick throws and a fire crackling under the mantelpiece.

To his shock, out from one of the rooms came someone who looked very much like himself. Well a version of himself that he almost didn’t recognise. This William had bags under his eyes and much less hair, but he was smiling, beaming even at something he was holding in his arms.

‘Rockin’ around the Christmas tree, at the Christmas party shop’ he sang, bouncing the thing up and down in his arms.

‘Those aren’t the lyrics’ came a voice he knew so well.

Kate appeared from the room looking just as, if not even more beautiful than William knew her.

‘It’s Christmas party hop, not shop, that doesn’t make any sense’ she added.

‘Alright Mother Christmas!’ he laughed. ‘Mummy’s such a know-it-all isn’t she?’

It was only then that Will noticed what his older self was holding. A bouncing baby boy.

Was it his? Surely it couldn’t be his.

‘George, tell daddy that mummy does know it all, yes I do’ she said tickling the baby’s stomach. ‘Especially about Christmas’

Kate held up a tiny red knitted jumper that she’d had behind her back, a reindeer design was on the front.

‘That’s ridiculous’ the two Williams said in unison. The younger clapped his hand over his mouth before realising that no-one could hear or see him.

‘It’s cute Will!’ Kate insisted.

‘He’s gonna be boiling in that thing’

‘He’ll be fine for a few minutes while we take some pictures, won’t you my pumpkin?’

William sighed in defeat.

As he stood observing from the corner, William recognised the look that his older self was giving Kate as the same dopy look he often gave her in their home at Hope Street. Was it conceivable that this could be his future? Married to Kate and with a baby that he sang Christmas songs to?

George screamed out as Kate tugged the jumper gently over his head.

‘He hates it!’ William shouted over the noise.

Will walked over to the sofas and sat close to the three of them, finding himself grinning at their domesticity.

Kate managed to get the jumper on and began snapping away with her camera, while William stood behind her making faces at the baby until finally after all the fuss, George cracked open a huge smile.  

‘That’s my boy!’ Kate beamed.

For the next hour, or what felt like an hour as he had no sense of time, Will followed the family around the house. He watched them as they laughed together, chatted about a trip to Australia and other everyday things. He smiled with them when they fed George, and got frustrated with them when he wouldn’t eat.

When George was safely tucked up in bed, they sat down again at the couch, and he was surprised to see his older self voluntarily switching on Miracle on 34th Street. What had happened to him?

‘I love this film’ Kate said happily, tossing her legs up onto William’s.

‘It’s a good one, especially that scene at the end in the court room’

‘Do I need to get you some tissues?’ Kate teased.

William smirked at her, as did Will.

So this was what normal family life was all about, he thought.

Just as he was about to get comfortable and watch the film with them, darkness clouded over his dream, pulling him away.

He tossed and turned in his bed, neither waking nor going back to that room in Kensington Palace. Instead, he found himself plunged into a study, just like the one his father had.

There was William, the older, sitting at the desk, writing letters. Only this time, he was even older, fifty maybe. He sat with no expression on his face, a lamp flickering on his desk. There were no pictures on his desk, no sign of his wife or child, just emptiness.

 ‘Oi’ Will shouted.

But William couldn’t hear him.

He walked around the desk and behind the chair, where he could see William dating the letters as 24th December.

‘Oi’ he repeated. ‘It’s Christmas Eve, what are you doing here alone? Shouldn’t you be with your family or something?’

Will knew instinctively that there was no Kate or George in this scenario. This was the William of a future without a family.

And he hated it. He wanted to see himself ice skating with his kids, or chasing after them with snowballs. He wanted to be forced to watch Christmas movies, and eat turkey and brussel sprouts, and spend ridiculous money on visiting Father Christmas’ grotto with George.

‘Get off your arse!’ he shouted at his older self. ‘It’s Christmas!’

‘Get up! You’re married remember?! Go to your family!’

Of course the older William didn’t move, he merely sat solemnly, and just like he’d seen somewhere before, the sparkle gone from blue his eyes.  

*

Will woke with a start, feeling like he hadn’t been asleep at all. He sat up for a few minutes dazed from being snapped out of the particularly vivid dream. But it had felt so real, he thought. He could almost taste the crackling fire from his apartment. 

On walking downstairs, unable to stay in bed any longer, he found Kate warming some croissants in the oven.

‘Morning’ she said brightly. ‘Sleep well?’

‘Not really’ he said rubbing his eyes, ‘I had the weirdest dreams’

‘About what?’

He considered for a moment telling her the truth, but maybe it was a little too strange. ‘Um Gingerbread George…he came to life’ he said.

Kate laughed.

‘Can I help you with the lunch today?’ he asked.

She eyed him suspiciously, ‘you want to help?’

‘What’s wrong with that?!’

‘No, nothing’ she said, waving a butter knife in the air, ‘just surprised that you want anything to do with Christmas, that’s all’

William smiled, ‘I promise I won’t do anything without your approval’

‘Fine, you can start on the turkey stuffing, that’s hard to mess up’ she joked.

So William and Kate set about making Christmas lunch. William was pleased to spend this time alone with Kate before they went home and once or twice he almost plucked up the courage to ask her out. The dreams from last night still ran through his mind. If he didn’t ask her now, would he end up that lonely old man working on Christmas Eve? Was it even possible that he could know a happy family life so different from those tense Christmases of the past?

By the time Olivia and Fergus emerged in the kitchen, William was still mulling over his thoughts and was alone with Kate no longer.

Timed perfectly by Kate, at one o’clock, the four of them sat down at their small table, food and drink almost falling over the edges.

‘It all looks amazing’ Olivia enthused, ‘I can’t wait for you to cut into that turkey’ she said to Kate.

The turkey was the centrepiece of the table setting, golden brown and oozing with juices and stuffing.

‘Actually I think Will should have the honours’ Kate said, slipping on her snowman slippers for the occasion.

‘Me?’ he said unconvinced.

‘You’ve shown your Christmas spirit today, plus you made most of it, it’s only fair you should carve it’.

They exchanged a look over the table, and Will knew he was doing the dopey eyes again, realising how much he liked Kate’s attention.

‘There’s enough to feed a small army here’ Fergus remarked as William picked up the knife.

Just as he was about to slice the knife through the turkey, he stopped abruptly.

‘Will?’ Kate said.

‘You’re right…you’re absolutely right’ he said vacantly.

He dropped the knife on the table and picked up the entire turkey, platter and all.

‘Um Will, are you ok? … where are you going with that?’ Kate said, concerned as William headed for the front door.

Kate, Fergus and Olivia exchanged worried glances.

‘Come with me’ Will said, attempting to put on a baseball cap while balancing the turkey with one hand.

‘Where?!’ Kate asked, but William was already on the doorstep, so she was forced to jump up and follow him.

William turned right from their home, and strode up the street purposefully. ‘Keep up!’ he teased as he turned and saw Kate rushing behind him.

They rounded a corner onto the next street and William looked searchingly at each door, finally recalling the one he wanted.

It was then that Kate understood what was happening, and she couldn’t help smiling to herself as William rang the doorbell at his chosen house.

The door opened a few inches, ‘we haven’t got any spare change’ a voice snapped from behind the door, and began to shut it again.

‘No we’re not collecting for charity’ William said quickly. ‘I’d just like to…well I have something I’d like to give you’

‘I’m not interested in finding Jesus’ she said spikily.

‘Wait please’ he said before she could slam the door in his face, ‘we met yesterday, we live down the road, your son’s Tim isn’t it?’

‘What has he done now?! TIM!!!!!!!!!!’ she screeched.

‘Nothing!’ Kate attempted, ‘please could you open the door’

The woman finally relented; opening the door fully as tiny Tim came storming down the stairs.

‘Wow! Ma look a’ tha’ turkey!’ he said, his eyes transfixed.

William grinned at his excitement. ‘It’s for you, if you’d like it’

‘Wha’ for?’ the woman said suspiciously.

William pondered for a second and then said, ‘call it Christmas spirit?’

Kate beamed and placed a hand on William’s back.

‘There’s nothing wrong with it honestly, we made it this morning, I know it’s a bit large…’

‘…but you can cut it up and put it in the freezer until Christmas day if you’d prefer’ Kate finished for him.

‘I’ve go’ three more kids in there’ she said, ‘they’ll polish that off’

‘So you’ll accept it?’ Kate said hopefully. ‘As a gift’

‘I can’nae really say no, can I?’. For the first time the woman smiled, softening her face considerably.

William handed the turkey to her, and ruffled Tim’s hair, who was still transfixed.

‘Thank you’ the woman said. ‘From all o’ us’

‘No problem’, Will said, lowering his hat and turning away.

‘Wait, what are your names?’ she said.

‘It doesn’t matter’ William said. ‘Merry Christmas to you all’

‘Merry Christmas’ she said back to them both.

*

William and Kate walked back to Hope Street partly in silence, nothing really needing to be said.

‘Do you think Olivia and Fergus will be pissed off I’ve given their turkey away?’ William asked eventually, as they walked purposely slowly.

‘We have more than enough other food’ Kate said sensibly. ‘Besides they’ll have the same opinion as me when they know where it went’

‘Which is?’ he said, smirking.

‘That you’re very sweet and even a little awesome’

William stopped in the pavement, ‘you think I’m awesome?’

‘You know I do’ she said rolling her eyes as if it was a silly question.

‘Right…well the thing is, I think you’re kind of awesome too’ he said, with all the confidence he could muster.

‘Do you?’ she gave him a smile that made him blush.

‘And I was thinking…maybe when we come back after the break, we could…um…you know’ William was bright red and running out of words.

‘Be awesome together?’ Kate suggested.

‘Yes, exactly, if you wanted to, obviously’ he mumbled.

‘I thought you’d never get the hint’ she chuckled.

‘Well I’m not very observant’ he said calmly though his spirits soaring.

Kate reached on her tip toes and kissed him on the cheek, sending the flush roaring back to his face.

Maybe that dream last night wasn’t just a dream, perhaps it was the push he so badly needed, he thought optimistically.

He looked down and saw that to his great amusement, Kate was still in her snowman slippers.

‘Nice slippers’ he teased, pulling a face at their gaudiness.

‘Oh bah humbug!’